Retelling of Red vs Blue part 2 of 3
by the survier and the fighter
Summary: The next saga in the Retelling of RvB. Rogers and Vulcan had enough of the Freelancers but when agent Washington, The Meta and Carolina come to mess with their lives will Rogers and Vulcan find new allies or just make more enemies
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

Rogers was with Grif and Simmons ready to be shot by the Reds. "How did this happen?" asked Rogers.

 **One year earlier**

Rogers along with Grif and Simmons were getting ready to leave to Rats nest. Sarge refused his orders. In the distance he could see him recording and cutting out cardboard look alike. Rogers went towards him but kept quiet while he recorded his segment. "Stop there or I'll shoot but first I have to write fanfiction for a blue gal."

"Sir are you sure you don't want to come with us to rat's nest?"

"I'm sure maggot. Now go." Rogers rolled his eyes and went back inside to pack up the last of his stuff. When he got into his room he saw Donut packing up. "I can't believe you're going on a secret mission."

"Yeah well. I'll miss you guys." said Donut.

At blue base Vulcan was packing she picked up a photo of her squad behind the tank. She laughed when she looked at Tucker and Caboose holding up dead Church, while ghost church gave them the finger. She looked out her window and frowned, she actually liked the canyon and will miss it but the mission she was assigned to was just too important even if it's with Tucker.

 **One week earlier**

Rogers was in Grif office counting the money they made selling ammo to the Blues. It was a traitorous act but this was payback for the hell comand put the trio through. "Three thousand, so that's thousand credits for the each of us." There wasn't much to spend on but once he got out of the army he was looking pretty good.

"Nice. This was surprising easy." Laughed Grif.

"I know, who thought the blues would even buy from us let alone talk to us."

"That's all we need." said a muffled voice. The next thing he knew the door was being breached by his red comrades. "In the name of the red army Dexter Grif, Dick Simmons and Dan Rogers all of you are under arrest."

"Well Shit." Grif and Rogers said in unison.

 **Now**

"Wait don't we get a last request." said Simmons.

"What do you want?"

"Well at least read our charges."

"You guys know what you did. You sold all of our ammo."

"Why shoot us? I mean don't you need the bullets." said Grif.

"It only takes one." the man said with a devilish grin.

"You still have to read us the 's in the red army handbook."

"I think you bluffing, I never read that."

"Well he did because he's the biggest nerd of the universe."

"Fine but we'll only read Rogers and say the blues killed you guys." Rogers was being listed his charges. "Drunkenness, discharge of weapons in mess hall, selling ammo to the enemy and unauthorized use of vehicle for now die."

" ." The man reading his charges punched him in the face.

"It's been nice knowing you guys and you've been like brothers and I just want to say Grif it was me who broke your fridge instead of Donut I'm so sorry." cried Rogers.

"It's alright man. Simmons it was me not Rogers who stole Identity and ran up all those credit card charges at the pawn shops and peep shows." Rogers looked over and saw that Simmons was about to blow a fuse literally and figuratively. Rogers closed his eyes waiting for the sweet embrace of death, he listen and heard the ring gunfire and Sarge's voice. He opened his eyes to see him in a warthog. He asked what was going on and when he said he need them he was happy. He jumped on the hood and they drove off. For the next few hour was none stop driving. Sarge explained that a Freelancer was reassembling the Blues to attack, he didn't know what to think but if a Freelancer is there he wouldn't mind knocking a few heads. When they got to there destination Rogers jumped off and fired at the blues and the freelancer, he watched as Church and the Freelancer ran into a nook. They kept firing until he heard a microphone from the freelancer. Rogers holstered his SMG and was willing to listen, hell it might be entertaining.

"What do you want?" yelled Sarge.

"We are not your enemy." yelled the Freelancer. This made the Reds scoff, Freelancer have only brought hell with them whenever Rogers wmet them.

"Tell that to the teeth you chipped, asshole." yelled Rogers.

"None the less, my name is Agent Washington I am pa-" Washington was cut off from Church and he spoke again. "I'm a special agent from command."

"Well if you're command then you'd know our secure code word."

"Ok give me a minute. The code word is...Code word?"

"Really, next thing you're going to tell me is that you have launch codes and to activate it all you have to say is launch code." As if on cue a robotic voice appeared. "For god's sake."

"Stand down."

"Stand down we outnumber them two to one. That's a fifty percent advantage."

"They know our code word. There's nothing we can do."

"Everyone and their grandma knows our code words." yelled Grif. "You know what I'll go get the local reds to help me." Rogers watch Grif as he walked away and went up to a large man with a odd looking weapon. He then picked up a warthog and flung it at Grif. It then launched another at the squad. Rogers ran away and went into a tuck away with Church. Rogers kept a lookout for the beast. He then felt a hand on his back, he held his breath as he turned around found Sarge. With a sigh of relief Rogers holstered his gun. Sarge began to speak.

"Come on we got a mission to do." yelled Sarge. Rogers, Sarge and Simmons fired their guns at the creature but it justed hissed and fired away it's grenade launcher. Then minigun fire and next thing anyone knew it was gone. Rogers stepped outside and looked around but it was nowhere to be seen.

"You idiots we almost had it." yelled the Freelancer.

"Bullshit that didn't even scratch it."

"He means before you came here." said Church. "We had it crippled and you guys show up shooting up the place."

"You guy looked like you had everything under control." mocked Sarge.

"Up yours red."

"Well the four of you are staying with us now.I can't possibly hope to fight the Meta in this state with Church and...Caboose!" Washington ran up some flights of stair and Rogers followed him to see Caboose unconscious.

"Is he alright?" asked Rogers.

"I think so he just seemed to be knocked out. Wait do you heard that? Rogers listen closely and heard Caboose mumble something. Wash just shook his head and Rogers followed him. Washington took a minigun and fired at the Meta, while Rogers fired his SMG. For a second a few shot landed but the meta just vanished. When the group went around Caboose Wash just stared at Caboose"I can't wake him up. Do you guy know a medic around here."

"No sir." said Rogers. Rogers sat there think how did he end up in yet another wild adventure.

"Hey why don't you do that thing, You know the ghost thing?" asked Grif.

"This guy doesn't know about that so I don't want to freak him out. Keep him occupied and I'll see what I can do." Simmons ran up to Washington and Church left his body. After a minute Washington came back when Church came out yelling.

"Memory is the key? What does that mean. Huh?" said Church. Church went on to explain for a minute and the whole thing became an argument but Washington shut up everyone and spoke of about a couple of thing that strike him as odd. He then left with his squad to repair a car, when got there he found the jeep turned upside down.

"Alright Simmons help me turn this over alright. So what did you think Washington ment by training facility."

"He's just trying to psych us out or maybe this war is like a playground. They just test their skills with us." said Simmons flipping over the jeep. Sarge came up and looked at it.

"Well I can get it up and running but we need to cannibalize a couple other jeeps."

"How long should it take Sarge?" Rogers asked taking a look at the fucked up engine.

"Less than two days. Mind getting me a couple tools from the jeep." Rogers nodded and left but when he came back Washington was telling them they had to leave.

"What are your orders sir?"

"We go with them." Rogers loaded his SMG and they walked for an hour till they came across a base. There wasn't anything to see, in the distance he could see the jeeps and a few men.

"Alright I'll go in and steal the jeeps." said Wash walking away, Sarge jumped up and stood in front of Wash.

"No, we reds are better at sneaking, and we'll steal the jeep."

"Fine." Rogers and the rest of Reds followed down a darkened trail towards Blue base. At first they were quiet and they got to the motor pool. Rogers got onto the mongoose, and the rest got onto a warthog. But then then a couple of guards came out and they drove off. The other guards went into the other jeep and raced towards them. They then to shoot at them. Rogers was fast but a couple of bullets bounced off him. Lucky they lost them but more bullets came flying. Simmons fired the gun and killed the jeep.

"Hell yeah, remind me when we get back to a bar I buy you a drink." yelled Rogers.

"You idiots we need that." screamed Wash.

"And we needed not to die and your point is."

"Where are we going to get another vehicle?" And on que a hornet came flying in shooting at them. Rogers drove off and jumped off the atv and hid behind a crashed ship. When the shooting stopped he came out from the ship to see that the hornet has been destroyed. He went back to blue base and saw everyone was regrouped. He heard people saying plans on how to get in. Most were alright but none of them seem like they would work.

"We're not going." said Simmons.

"What you have to go." said Washington.

"Sorry but we been given hell by you guys a little too long so. No."

"You're coming that's an order."

"You can't order us don't even know your rank."

"I'm a freelancer."

"Not a rank bro." said Grif.

"The other freelancers never gave us orders. They just offered to trade favors."

"What do you want?" sighed Washington. The reds huddled together and spoke.

"I say Lasers and robot. No wait Robot and lasers." said Sarge.

"Nudie mags."

"A new base."

"A new base, no wait first class tickets to Earth." suggested Rogers. Sarge turned around and spoke.

"Alright we talked about and we decided what we want."

"Well what is it."

"We want you to demote Grif."

"For fucks sake man!" yelled Rogers.

"Congratulations you're now private Grif."

"Anything lower?"

"Private junior Grif." Sarge gave Wash a look, as if he wanted more from it. "Private negative first class JR Grif." Rogers let out a small growl, this was stopped short when Caboose spoke.

" ?I have an idea."

"What is it?"

"We're going to freelancer city right? Were freelancers live and this is a freelancer car." Caboose said pointing to the tank. "If they think we're freelancer they'll let us in." Rogers jaw drop, Caboose was an idiot but that was the most intelligent thing he heard him say ever. But the only problem was they still see us. "They can't see inside a tank."

"Alright everyone in the tank."

"Now?" said Grif.

"Fine but when we're a mile, get in inside the tank." said Washington.

"Alright." Rogers hopped on the mongoose with Simmons and everyone else jumped in their own car. When they got to the base they all abandon their cars and got into the tank. Caboose was driving and it was still cramped. As they drove on Washington opened the hatch and they rushed out, Rogers was never claustrophobic but hell if that wasn't the third worst experience he had all day. Wash directed them to a small control room and Wash gave a quick plan outline. When they left, Simmons was on the computer and Rogers laided down. He closed his eyes but Sarge began to yell, so he got up and listen.

"Alright Rogers help Simmons delete the blues."

"Fine." Rogers sat down while Simmons delete the blues from the database. "So Simmons before you delete all the blues can you look up Vulcan."

"Alright." Simmons began to type and spoke. "Um her file is encrypted with the highest locks one thing though, under the order of James Vulcan." Simmons began work again but then Grif answered the phone and Rogers thought he heard Tucker and Vulcan voice yelling about something but call was dropped. Suddenly alarms were tripped and a firefight began outside. Rogers closed the shutters "And done. The blues are now delete."

"Good job, Simmons." said Sarge. Rogers heard gunfire and explosions he looked down the hall and fire at a couple of guys chasing Wash and Church. He over heard the conversation and all about how Church was an AI instead of a ghost which made a lot of sense. Then he heard the Meta.

"Fuck!" yelled Rogers. Wash then let them to the motor pool. Wash told them to protect Caboose and make sure he and Epsilon got out before the EMP hit. Rogers got onto a mongoose and the garage door opened and he drove off and followed along side Caboose. He dodge rocks, dead bodies and bullets. But when the EMP hit Rogers, he swerved and crashed. Rogers twisted his leg and screamed in pain and passed out. After awhile he opened and closed his eyes and saw Sarge and Grif carried him, he was given some morphine and fell asleep. He woke up in a dusty old room, he walked out the room and saw it was the base they found the tank. He smiled and got up and looked over the valley.

 **Sorry for short chapter.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Rather than doing a psa I'll be doing the Relocated shorts and like what I did for each chapter is one season, this will be all in one take.**

Rogers was sitting on a large rock overlooking Valhalla. "I'm telling you this is a whole new world for us." said Grif. Rogers looked at it one more time, it was better than Blood Gulch. The area was lusher and they didn't have to be worried about running out of water. There was a lake behind them and the water was clean. Rogers followed Grif and SImmons back to red base.

"I don't know, it's basicly the same place."

"No, no. This is a fresh start and we kind of know what to expect now." Rogers rolled his at that comment. The only thing Rogers knew to 'expect' was Caboose poking by sometime out of the blue.

"I expect you to sleep all day and steal Simmons debit card."

"Ha you couldn't tell that was sarcastic" After a minute they were back at Red base, Grif and Simmons split off to talk and Rogers threw Sarge a wrench and stepped back. Ever since the incident back at Freelancer ops Rogers has been learning up on how to fix the warthog, while he was in bed waiting for his leg to heal. Sarge just got a gas line and he had a opened flame, the wrench would at least relieve some prease.

"3..2..1..boom." The jeep quickly blew up, Sarge got back on his feet and called a meeting.

"Men we got a situation on our hands."

"Hey Sarge why do you always call us over when you want to talk to us?" asked Gif. "I mean why not use the radio?"

"Shut up Grif. Now back to the matter at hand. I've been trying to upgrade the warthog's weapon system. As you all recall we encounter that EMP thingy mabob. So I thought I could upgrade the warthog with that."

"You mean the pulse that knocked out our car." Rogers said raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, but the problem is we don't have the power on inside the base and I've been forced to only use my hand tools."

"I get it, you want us to turn on the generator so you-"

"Call Lopez. Rogers you maybe the smartest man in the squad."

'Don't our radio's work." asked Grif.

"We need to use the long range ones, but the other red's disabled them all."

"Correct but for some season the blues base is on." Rogers turn his head to see a Blue pulse shoot out of the base. "So I will need Simmons to check it out."

"Why me?"

"Because Grif is too dumb to know what electricity is and Rogers got a bad leg." Simmons then took off towards Blue base. After a minute he was out of sight, Rogers turned his attention to Sarge who was addressing Grif.

"Grif I'll need you to climb on top of the base and figure out what jamming the power." Rogers gulped as he saw the hundred foot tower. Grif tried to get a foothold but failed, he helped push him up but struggled.

"God, how much does this armor weigh." whinned Rogers, with a final push Grif was up. "Shit that was hard." Rogers said gasping for air. He stepped back and watched him climb. "Hey Grif can I have your stuff when you fall to your death."

"Don't say that!" cried Grif. Rogers just kept watching him climb the tower.

"So Sarge what is Grif going to do when he gets up there?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean how do we know that the problem is up there, not inside."

"Well, um. Hey look Simmons."

"Hey Sarge."

"Got any intel on the Blues?" asked Rogers.

"Nothing of value, the power was already on when he got there. But he is happy to give us some power if we can find a power cable long enough." Rogers thought that was a good deal, but Sarge would never accept the help of a blue, so it was no surprise when he said no.

"I am not falling for that. He would chose the just right moment to cut us off from a valuable resource."

"Which we don't have by the way." said Rogers.

"That's right, he would just soften us up before pulling the rug from out from under our feet. So now way I am not giving him a chance. Beside I sent Grif to look for the problem as we speak."

"I still think the problem is inside than outside."

"Can it." He just watch Grif keep climb higher and higher.

"Hey Grif if you see a frisbee it's mine!" Rogers called out.

"Ha ha, very-wait there is a frisbee up here. Go long." Rogers watched as he threw it and he went to the water edge but the frisbee went into the deep end of the lake.

"Thanks a lot asshole that cost me a week's allowance." Grif just kept climb up higher and higher until he reached the top of the tower. He called out and Sarge and Simmons came out and called back at him.

"What else is up there?" asked Simmons.

"There's a bunch of pieces of a ship."

"Can you move it?" asked Rogers.

"No. They're in huge chunks."

"You can try clearing it with a grenade." yelled Simmons.

"Are you asking that right now?"

"Good point well here goes nothing." Rogers held his breath.

"Wait how do I-" Before Grif could finish there was an explosion. He watch as Grif was sent flying in the air, in a panic Rogers hid behind anything that would prevent Grif from landing on him and Crushing him. When suddenly Grif came crashing through the roof and landed on Rogers.

"Son of a bitch." Both of them said weakly.

"Help me." Rogers said as Grif stepped on him. "Hey Lopez."

"[Hey, I'm just going to step over you now]."

"Rogers get back up on the double." yelled Sarge.

"I think Grif crushed all my bones in my body."

"Simmons carry Rogers to the elevator."

"Ok." Simmons did as Sarge asked, he began to hasty drag Rogers down to elevator.

"Wait when did we get a elevator?" Rogers asked getting back on his feet.

"When Lopez got back."

"When did he get back."

"Five minutes ago."

"You are a fast worker." Rogers said with awe.

"Si." The elevator quickly made it's last. Rogers left the box and saw a large empty room.

"As you know I've been developing a new version of our Warthog, with the help of Lopez here has built a large holographic room in which we can test the design of the vehicle." Rogers looked over the room, it was bare but Sarge pulled up a chart and the vehicle popped up. Sarge took control of the gunner and a holo Grif popped up. Sarge fired the the gun again and again but there was a huge problem, the jeep kept stalling.

"Hey guys I think I just saw something." said Grif. Grif moved towards a squadron of holo Grif and pointed out one that look a lot like Donut.

"Holy shit it's Donut!" Rogers ran towards him and dragged him upstairs. He gave him a flask of water but he wouldn't wake up. He did mumble one word.

"Vulcan." Shit, Rogers though. This was going to be one hell of adventure.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter two**

It's been a few weeks since the incident with the freelancers. All was normal more or less. Caboose was on one side of the canyon while everyone was on the other side. Sarge was doing his daily schedule taunting the blues, Rogers's was leg getting better but he usually help Lopez repair thing. It wasn't glamorous but it was better than sitting on his ass for hours on end doing nothing, Life pick up though when Donut and Lopez came back. Donut had been lost in the desert while Lopez pack everything up and came back to red team. "Hey Lopez im going into get a drink you want something. Gas, oil?"

"[Gasoline]"

"Alright gas." Rogers went inside to get a soda and gas, he gave it to Lopez and spoke again. "Looks like it time for my date, I mean brake. See ya Lopez take care."

"[Good luck with a date with a hologram]" Rogers went into the holodeck and pulled up date scenario one.

"Hey V. You look nice."

"Thanks Rogers I'v-" Holo Vulcan was interrupted by Simmons who Rogers saw with a holo Sarge.

"This never happened." Rogers said looking over his shoulder.

"Agreed." They then went back to there own thing but he heard the real Sarge and rushed to the quick hide button.

"Hey Rogers get up here also." Rogers sighed and walked up. He really didn't care and barely listen and just waited for his orders. "Rogers where's Donut?"

"I don't know sir maybe he walked off."

"[Donut went to blue base]" said Lopez drinking his gas.

"Alright let's move, Rogers triple time for you."

"Yes sir." Rogers began to run with his squad to the other side of the canyon. After a minute they reached blue base and Sarge began to yell.

"Hey anybody here? Where are ya."

"Yes I hear you." yelled Caboose.

"For some reason I feel like something bads going to happen."

"When it comes to blue team it usually does mean something bad." sighed Simmons. Caboose came out and spoke.

"Hey guys how's it going?"

"The legs better just a little sore."

"Shut up Rogers. We're looking for something we lost."

"Is it Donut?" asked Caboose.

"Ya where is he?"

"He's in my 'll be staying with me for a little while."

"That not ominous." smirked Rogers.

"Caboose isn't dangerous." whispered Simmons. Rogers went back to list, Simmons was right he understood what Caboose was talking about but it was fun to watch Sarge give up secrete info by mistake. It was kind of funny, but red base. He did some push ups and took another nap. It seem like things were getting quiet again. After an hour nap he went back to his duties of repairing miscellaneous objects with Lopez. He then saw Donut, he rushed up to him.

"Donut good to see ya again. What did talk to Caboose about?"

"I just had to deliver a message." said Donut. "I need to talk to Sarge."

"Oh Sarge is over there."

"Thanks." Rogers then went back to red base and quickly went back to Lopez. "Need any help?"

"No."

"Alright." He went towards Grif. "Do you want to play poker?"

"Nay." He saw Sarge go into the Holo-room and he followed just in case he wanted help. When he got there he saw Caboose.

"What are you doing down here, you better not of messing stuff up."

"Isn't everything fake."

"None the less. Simmons run a full diagnostic. So what are you doing down here?"

"Nothing I just wanted to look around but I have to go home and pack."

"What do you mean by pack?"

"I have to find my friend Tucker."

"The guy in the desert." said Donut.

"But then there won't be anymore blues here, which means they'll probably send us-"

"Actually I'm going to find Tucker and bring him back."

"Cool."

"It sound dangerous but I'm sure I'll come back fine both physically and-" Caboose stop mid sentence. After a minute Rogers shook him. "Mentally."

"Sir permission to go on the blues stupid mission." said Grif.

"Huh?" said Rogers.

"Don't you see, if he dies on his mission and let's be honest when he dies on his mission that means they won't be back in Command's records. But if I help him and put them back in the database."

"Excellent point Grif." said Sarge. "Permission granted." Rogers couldn't believe he actually said yes to Grif.

"I'll come too."

"You'll just slow us down."

"Sir please, my legs isn't in pain any more I can help and I need to have a crazy adventure. I can't stay in the base anymore."

"Alright fine." Rogers rushed up stairs got a flask of water and a bag of beef jerky and sat on the hood. They then drove off and went into the water. After an hour they drove out and got at a base where he met Wash and the Meta. He hurryed of the hood and took a massive leak behind a old car, he went onto the hood off the car and they were off again. Soon they reached the desert, they drive in what felt like hours. When they got to there destination there was a alarm and a voice.

"Leave now you just have entered a minefield."

"What did he say."

"I'm not sure." yelled Rogers.

"I said minefield dumbass."

"Fuck." yelled Rogers.

"Don't worry we'll help you get out." yelled a voice over the intercom.

"Why would you put mines in the desert!" yelled Rogers.

"I- I- I don't know it seemed like a good idea at the time. Let me just pull up a schematic."

"Grif how could you driven us into a minefield." yelled Sarge.

"It's your fault." Grif and Sarge began to bicker, while Rogers sat on the hood of the car. He was freaking out. He thought he could jumped but when the guy came back he had hope. It was confusing at first but he was not taking any chances and stood on the hood while Sarge and Caboose walk out and Grif drives. But Grif just drove and Rogers jumped into the crater. When he saw the jeep he rushed to them.

"Hey guys good to see that you're alive."

"Hey I didn't see in the minefield." said Sarge.

"Oh that I jumped into the crater. Wait where's Caboose?"

"The mines must of gotten him, well fuck." said Sarge. Sarge quickly went back to bickering with Grif but then a trooper came by trying to there attention but they were too busy arguing to care. But then Caboose came crashing down, and Sarge was talking to the guy in charge. When the guy left Rogers came up to Sarge.

"That guy seem off, what do you think?" asked Rogers.

"I think we don't tell them we're looking for Tucker, alright now every stay quiet looks like he's coming back with a-" A large alien came by.

"Whoa!" Everyone said in unison.

"Oh sorry. I forget some people don't have experience with aliens."

"We got experience with those things." said Sarge.

"You fought aliens during the war?"

"Yeah. I was a hero." said Rogers.

"What battle?"

"Nothing you probably heard. Just our ship was boarded and shit, the aliens had tanks and rocket launchers." lied Rogers.

"Stop embellishing." whispered Sarge.

"Well alright. Now I'm sure you've heard about treaties between the aliens and humans. We're to investigate an energy reading. Rules are if we find one all investigation team have to have least one person and one alien."

"What kind of energy reading,plasma, solar?" asked Sarge.

"I can't tell you.I also need you to leave the area alien might get suspicious if there's another squad just head on your way and this can just be kept between the two of us."

"Dude our jeep is fucked up. We're not leave for any time soon unless you want to give us a car."

"Don't have any to spare but we can help you repair it. While you're here you should now this is a restricted dig site. Everything is property of the military. Do not go looking for artifacts or go anywhere without telling me, got it."

"Yes mom." sighed Rogers and Grif. The guy crossed his arms and Rogers could tell he was giving them a glare.

"Ok quick quiz then. What are you going to do if you find an artifact?"

"Not take the artifact." said Caboose.

"No, that was a trick question. You're not going to find an artifact."

"Maybe I knew it was a trick question and I gave you a trick answer." replied Caboose.

"There are no trick answer just trick questions." sighed the man.

"There are no trick answers just wrong answers. Now head down there." said the man pointing to a couple of chairs and wrecked jeeps cars. "Feel free to use whatever parts you might need. And there's some water. Now get."

"Thanks." As they got far enough grif spoke up. "You thinking what i'm thinking."

"Something's off." said Sarge. "Keep your gun loaded and ready." As they came closer they saw the wreck jeeps. Sarge and Caboose went off towards one while Rogers went to another. He over heard Grif talking on the radio. From what he can hear it seemed like he was trying to call Simmons. Rogers went back to the car, at first it didn't seem like much. Just a standard crash is what wrecked it but at a closer looked he saw bullet holes and plasma burns, he felt sick when he saw that some fleshed had been melt into the seat. He ran to Sarge to report his finding.

"Sir we have to talk." Rogers said panicked.

"You seem spooked, what is it?"

"I checked the cars over there and found something. Unsettling, the car looks like a standard crash but when I checked the seats there were bullet and plasma burns."

"So." said Grif. "They might of used it for target practice."

"That's just it. There was flesh melted to the seat. Might of been accident but something went down here Sir and we need to leave asap."

"You're right. But we still need to fix the jeep." Rogers then left to refill his flask and when he turned his head he saw the guy coming towards Sarge and Grif, so he took a swig of his flask and regrouped. When he got there the guy pointed a gun at him but told them to move. He complied with the scary guy, they went to the behemoth and saw that they had Caboose surrounded. They were yelling and he said something about Epsilon. The ground shook and everyone was freaking out. Once the shooting started he ran and took cover, he ran and felt and gun at his head. Then there was a loud thud, he turned and saw the icy blue devil blowing the smoke from her assault rifle.

"Rogers?"

"Vulcan?Where did you-"

"I'll tell you later just follow me to the temple." Rogers nodded and ran with Vulcan to the temple and when he got there he saw Tucker closing the door. Roger and Vulcan slid and the door and it closed all the way.

"Rogers is that enough excitement for ya?" said Sarge out of breath.

"Yeah." Tucker then walked up and spoke but Roger instead spoke to Vulcan. "What happened here did Tucker upset those guys."

" showed up a few weeks back and shot up the place. Tucker and I made it out of the firefight but we've been trapped here and they keep trying to break in."

"Sorry for your predicament. But you have us now."

"I feel oh so much safe." Vulcan said in a sarcastic tone. "Wheres Church?"

"Oh." Caboose said butting in. "He's dead."

"We already know that." said Tucker.

"We also found out that he's not a ghost but an AI computer program like Sheila."

"I knew that." said Tucker.

"Wait what?" said Rogers

"Don't tell me you thought he was a ghost." Laughed Vulcan.

"Oh don't be smug V, you thought he was a ghost till I told the four of you will have to do. We need to run this guys off or destroy this place."

"Why destroy it."

"Order say we can't let it fall into enemy hands." said Vulcan.

"And braking stuff is fun."

"That too." Vulcan said smashing a radio with her tomahawk. "Sorry."

"This thing is that powerful?" said Grif.

"Ho yeah it is." said Vulcan. "These guys built a lot of, planet destroying shit to say the least." Just then the ground shook.

"What the hell?"

"Those asshole been trying to break in here. Lucky this shit like super stone." said Vulcan.

"Hey why don't we just turn this thing on and kill them?"

"We don't know what it does. It could turn people into zombies."

"Now I'll tell you what I was told. Don't be a fucking dumbass and turn any of the old weapons on or you'll be dead faster- Wait where Caboose?" Rogers turned his head to Caboose had left the room.

"We should go find him. Shouldn't we."

"Ya." Tucker said running into the other room. Rogers and everyone else quickly followed. As they went deeper into the ruins they heard the mercs saying things like open the temple and shit. They just ignored it and kept going.

"Caboose where are you?" yelled Vulcan. They then heard something break. "It sounds like Caboose is talking to someone."

"Let's charge in there and take these assholes out." said Tucker. Vulcan and Rogers nodded and ran into the room but they heard a word they thought they never here again.

"Stop moving Church." Rogers stopped dead in his tracks.

"Church?" The group in unison. They can around the corner to see a floating eye robot.

"The hell." said Rogers.

"I can explain."

"That's Church?" said Tucker.

"Well not exactly. This is a memory of Church, He's epsilon."

"What happened to the real Church?" asked Vulcan.

"When we said dead we meant ." Rogers said rubbing his neck.

"What? But but." Vulcan said with tears.

"It's alright." Rogers said in a soothing voice.

"So who are all these people again?" asked Church.

"Why doesn't he remember us, but knows our names?"

"I've been telling him stories about most of us."

"Church pop quiz who am I?" asked Tucker.

"Your Butch Flowers. Aren't you dead."

"Who's he." Tucker said pointing to Rogers.

"That's Rogers. He loves Vulcan and kissed her at a beach."

"No." Rogers said nervously.

"Yay we saw you." said Grif.

"The one thing he gets right."

"Alright that was good but who's she?"

"She not screaming so she's not Tex or orange so not sister so that leaves her to be Vulcan. She lives in a tree and bakes cookies."

"That is wrong on a couple levels." After a minute the whole group began to bicker amongst themselves but Vulcan who looked sad. Rogers came up to her and spoke.

"Sorry for the loss of your at least you have this Church"

"It funny in a way, first time he died I hated him but when he came back we became friends. He was the only one who didn't hit on me besides Captain Flowers but now that he died again its. I don't know how to put it. I'm tired of war maybe you and me can go awo-" Before she could finish Church yelled.

"Stop. I may not remember everything but if we don't come together to destroy this weapon those guys outside are going to kill a lot of people." As Church went on Rogers helped Vulcan from the ground and loaded his SMG and yelled.

"Hell ya!"

"Now that the spirited and another thing- and I lost the ability to control where I that doesn't invalidate anything I said." Rogers stood around and went back to Vulcan.

"So you said that you wanted to go awol."

"Maybe. I hate this army, tell you the truth, I kind of like you but I don't want a Romeo and Juliet romance I just want to do the modern thing of a date and movies. I don't want to end up like my last relationship with my girlfriend Jess where I burnt all of her cloths and she sued me."

"You dated a girl. Cool."

"Tell Tucker and you die, but the point is you're a good guy but unless we stop fighting permanently instead if whenever a freelancer shows up or some alien we should stay frienemies." She got up and walked out of the room.

" killer." said Grif

"Fuck you. You look yellow sometimes." Rogers said with a smirk. After a couple of minutes akward silence. There was a loud thud. "Enemies let's go fight." Rogers said awkwardly. He quickly ran away from Sarge and Grif but was in the company of all of blue team. At first it was quiet but then he spotted some of the mercs and aliens. He careful aimed his gun and fired away. He landed a couple of shot but the kill went to Sarge who had followed them. The second alien took cover and a couple of shot were traded be turned his head to see that Church was somehow using telekinesis to hold a box. "Thats cool and all but can we focus on the ugly bastard in the other room. Church just ignored him and played with his new found ability. Church ranted on how he was a superhero but lost control of his body and floated to the next room. The alien stopped and looked at Church and bowed its head. "What the hell?"

"Don't worry I've seen this before. Some aliens worship this just thinks Church is a god or something." Roger saw Church act like it was Christmas and the next thing he did was funny. He picked up a box and bashed the alien.

"What the Fuck dude." said Vulcan.

"That's not right taking advantage of this situation."

"Oh what's the point of being a god if you can't smite people." said Church.

"Not the point." yelled Vulcan.

"Shot came from up there!" yelled Ct. Before and one had time react they mercs surrounded them. "Lower your weapons." He went on and on about Tucker but Church came out. "You activated it? Secure it." One of the mercs pulled out a shock pistol and fired it at Church.

"Church no!" yelled Caboose. But then the aliens began to kill everything. Rogers took cover while the aliens and the mercs duked it out. He popped his head up to see that CT stole Church's body. Vulcan ran out and was almost hit by a guy driving a mongoose. She could here him laughed but Rogers clotheslined him knocking him off and Rogers hopped on.

"Coming with?" Vulcan took off her helmet and gave a smirk and ran up and took the gunner. They followed Sarge in his EMP jeep but had to stop every time he fired.

"Why did Sarge build that thing." Vulcan said in a annoyed tone.

"I don't know but it looks cooler in holo mode." Another mongoose came driving up guarding CT.

"I got a plan. Just drive up to the other mongoose." said Vulcan.

"Got it. Wait is that Tucker." Rogers said pointing to a motorcycle looking thing.

"Yep and he's driving that prowler he got."

"Cool." They began to drive again. Caboose killed the mongoose and they drove again. After a couple of minutes the two saw Tucker on top of a ridge. Rogers and Vulcan hopped off and ran up. At the last second Rogers and Vulcan saw Church use a laser.

"Wow." said Roger and Vulcan in unison.


	4. Chapter 4

**Season seven**

Rogers was getting ready for the halloween party. He had just bought a Caboose costume. He got out of the base and went to the shooting spot but saw everyone else had the same Idea. "Damn it guy! Send a memo."

"So did we." the group said in unison.

"Hey Cabo-" Rogers watch as Church turned a corner and stopped dead in his tracks."Is this hell?"

"Yes." Rogers said in the most evil voice he could do. (Which was Donald Trump) Church slowly backed away. "That's going to give him nightmares." chuckled Rogers.

"This is why we can't have nice things." said Simmons.


	5. Chapter 5

**Valentine's day**

It was a normal day in Valhalla, the reds were shooting at Caboose. "Hey something's off." said Grif. "I'll go check it out." Grif walked over towards Caboose. After a minute Rogers and Simmons went over to check it out. He found Caboose crying.

"What's wrong?"

"It's valentine's day." said Caboose. "Church was always my Valentine." Rogers smirked but felt bad for him. "I miss him so much, he loved me!"

"No he didn't, he literally ripped out your heart."Simmons said, Rogers just shutter. It was like Church was using a finisher move from mortal combat. "Wait didn't Vulcan do that to Tucker when he gave her a kama sutra book." Rogers saw that first hand it was hilarious. He watched as Tucker handed her a book and flip out on him then punching a hole in his chest.

"Do you want us to make fun of you?" Caboose nodded his head.

"Then we're going to destroy you, you piece of shit."

"Thanks."


	6. Chapter 6

**Season 8**

You ever wonder the reason why your characters get a happy ending. It's not for the audience, but them. We feel like we own them that. For we take things for them and sometimes only bring them pain. In sense we are their fathers and mothers and we see ourselves in them, to us they're living they're living and breathing things-Survier and The fighter(Austin Ellis)

It's been several hours since the Reds and Blue defeated the Mercs. Rogers was taking inventory of what little supplies they had. "How's the food situation?" asked Vulcan.

"Not good. We got less than a week's worth of MRE and want ever the troopers had for personal stock so about two weeks, but that for the average human. Grif requires two breakfast to get going. But if some of us are willing to skip a meal or two we might be fine."

"That's unsettling. Hey I'm going to regroup with everyone else." Rogers nodded. They went outside and went to Sarge and Tucker.

"Rogers what's the status on our food?"

"About a month. For all of us sir."

"Alright good job." Rogers turned his head to the sound of blarges and saw Church and his cult following him. And his most faithful follower.

"Caboose get out of there." said an annoyed Tucker.

"It's not fair I was worshipping Church before it was cool."

"I already told you that's still not cool." said Grif.

"Hey guys how's life with the other non-deities. Pretty lame I bet, non of you been worshipped." said a smug Church.

"Hey magic eight ball how about delivering a 're burying most of these guys because of you."

"Me? I only lasered one guy."

"Have you figure out how you did it?" asked Tucker.

"No I think I did it because I was mad. Quick say something to make me angry."

"You're ugly and one likes you."

"You're annoying and your team sucks."

"I sold everything you owned on ebay not even before your body was cold." said Vulcan.

"I want to blow my brains out every time you talk." said Rogers.

"Your round and you can't wear pants."

"You guys came up with those a little too quickly."

"It helps when you're prepared. Did it work?"

"No I think I actually depressed now. Caboose is right I can't wear pants."

"Are you going to do the eulogy or not?"

"Im going, Im going." Church quickly floated up to top of the sand dune. "Attention believers and others, we are to pay our final and first respects to the departed. But I like all of you to join me in a song in honor of me." As Church began to sing Tucker lucky got a stop to it. Church began to talk, he soon trail off as if his mind was somewhere else, he quickly left and the alien became restless.

"Caboose stall them." said Tucker. Tucker went after Church and after a minute Rogers followed. When he caught up it seemed like everyone else had went to see if Church is alright.

"Is there something wrong with Church?" asked Rogers.

"Other than the fact he's an asshole no.I think he's just having a memory flash."

"A what?" asked Sarge.

"Random memory that keep coming back to him. He's been getting more and more lately."

"I saw a canyon with a waterfall and a dark figure there."

"Hey that sort of sounds like our new base." Rogers said walking to Sarge.

"Rogers, Grif something doesn't feel right."

"Is it that stuff with the vision?" asked Rogers.

"Ya what if there something to this whole vision need to call Simmons."

"How our radios busted and the jeep can't make calls that far out." said Grif.

"I have an idea how to fix that." said Sarge "Church come over here." Church quickly floated over.

"What is it. I'm busy."

"We think we found a way to help with your visions."

"Great. What is it?"

"Just meet us at the jeep and we'll tell ya." Church floated to the jeep and Sarge yanked him and placed him on the antenna.

"What the hell."

"We need to call back at base and see if anything off there so we were only half lying."

"Fine make it quick." Sarge made a call in the radio. When Church began to move Rogers had to hold him still. Rogers couldn't really hear Sarge but after a minute he done making the call and Rogers let go of Church.

"Is everything alright over there?" asked Rogers.

"No Donut and Lopez are dead and someone has taken Simmons prisoner."

"Wait what? You were on the radio for five minutes how could Simmons tell all that?"

"Think about how do you answer the radio at our base."

"Thank you for calling red base this is Private may I assist you today?" said Grif jumping into the conversation.

"And we drilled that since day one. Simmons answered Hi. That was my first clue."

"Ok you have a small point."

"He also said the radio was in disrepair and when does Lopez let something go without proper maintenance and look at the time."

"Wait a sec, it's Donut wine and cheese hour but what does that have to do with anything?" asked Rogers.

"I didn't hear any tinkling glasses."

"Ok you're strange is going on" Sarge continued his explanations and he got worried when he said the Meta and Wash were working together. Rogers had his doubt but it's not worth the risk.

"So we have to go on a rescue mission."

"Alright sir I'm pumped."

"Sorry Rogers but you have to stay here."

"Thats bullshit, sir Simmons is my friend."

"I know but we need the room to get him out. And if we don't come back it isn't fair for our whole squad to die." Sarge then left and loaded in the warthog with Grif. They drove off and he saw Church follow. Rogers quickly regrouped with Tucker.

"Hey dude where Church?" asked Tucker.

"Oh he followed Sarge and Grif to Valhalla."

"Wait what!?" said Vulcan.

"They're going on a rescue mission and I think Church was curious about. Why do you ask?"

"Hey guys." said Caboose. Vulcan and Roger turned their heads to see that the aliens were behind Caboose and looked super pissed. "Have you seen Church?"

"No. He left with Sarge and Grif."

"Well I wouldn't say that. I don't think that would happen because if he was gone I think some people who were looking for him would be really mad if he's not there." Rogers back up to Vulcan and whispered.

"Wanna leave before we end up like the mercs?"

"Alright we go to the temple." Vulcan then spoke up. "Hey I'm not feeling well so I have to go so ya." Rogers and Vulcan quickly ran away. When they got to the temple she took off her helmet and caught her breath. "So who are you guying trying to save Simmons from?"

"Wash and the Meta."

"Who?" she said putting on her helmet.

"Some old Freelancers friends of Tex. Well sort of, Wash was kind of cool but the Meta was a guy who went crazy and killed a few freelancers and took their AI and equipment."

"You guys been really busy and made some real enemies."

"Yeeah so did you." Rogers laughed.

"Wait aren't you guys going to save Donut or Lopez."

"There dead." Rogers said with his voice turning to sadness.

"I'm sorry. I like Donut." Vulcan said. "So have any stories about boot camp." Vulcan said with uneasiness in his voice.

"Maybe not right now. Hey do you hear that." Rogers and Vulcan looked outside to see Caboose being chased by the aliens. "Well we're going to die."

"Always sunshine and rainbows with you.I'm going to take a nap tell me when the aliens are done with Caboose." Yawned Vulcan. After a couple of hours Rogers could hear Sarge's voice. Rogers shook Vulcan but she just swatted at him.

"Reds are back." Vulcan yawned and got up and went outside to see it for herself. She saw the aliens chase him and run off to get a better look. They stopped and went to Tucker, Rogers and Vulcan regrouped and saw that Church was back up and running.

"Hey Simmons." Vulcan said.

"Hey V."

"So Church did you find what you were looking for?"

"Sorry Emma I need to talk to Caboose." Church then floated away talking to Caboose.

"So what now?" Rogers asked.

"I'm not sure." said Sarge.

"So sorry about Donut and Lopez." said Vulcan.

"Thanks." said Simmons. Rogers saw Caboose and Church leaving the dig site.

"Should we follow them sir." asked Rogers.

"Ya you Blue tard. No offense little lady." said Sarge.

"I was more offended by the lady bit."

"They're going to a place where we can finally put the blues back in the database."

"Wait what?" said a confused Vulcan.

"Long story."

"Hey do you guys mind if I tag along?"

"Sure." said Sarge. "Simmons once you put her back in be ready to shoot her."

"Yes sir!" Vulcan sighed as she gave Simmons a glare.

"If we're going to follow them we need a vehicle."

"Why don't we just walk?" asked Vulcan. "They're literally walking and-"

"We're the Reds we don't walk. Anywhere."

"So thats your excuse for driving the mongoose inside the base Sarge." said Rogers.

"Dam right now let's rollout." The group went down and snatched a jeep and mongoose. Rogers took driver seat of the mongoose, while Vulcan took gunner. Roger followed Sarge for a few hours.

"So Sarge care to race first one there wins Grif's wallet."

"Deal." Sarge then began to speed up but Rogers got in lead for a while. After an hour or so they made it to a abandoned factory of sorts. Rogers watched Church and Caboose go in, he followed them and saw a door close.

"What just happened?" asked Sarge.

"Don't know I heard a familiar voice then saw a door closing." said Rogers.

"Where?" asked Grif.

"Some secrete door, I think their a computer around here."

"That about sum it up." Vulcan said jumping in front of the group.

"V! Where did you come from?"

"After I got off the bikes. I ran towards Caboose and Church and watched them talk to a tree with a computer in it. I think they posed as freelancers. But ya."

"That gives me an idea. Bear with me now, if we pose a freelancers we can get in." suggested SImmons.

"Dibs on Calli." said Vulcan.

"Alright, Grif your Alaska. I'll be state of Denial get ok"

"I'll be Ohio." said Sarge.

"And I'll be Nevada." The group went up and the computer spoke.

"Please state identity or die." said Filiss.

"I'm agent Pluto." said Grif

"Identity invalid."

"Grif!"

"I got this." said Sarge. Sarge went up and fired his shotgun at the data pad and the door opened. "Rogers you go in first."

"*sigh* Yes sir." Rogers went in and screamed.

"Oh god he's dead." said Grif.

"Gotcha." Rogers yelled back. "Come on down it's pretty safe." The group came down.

"Hey sir I ask you something."

"What is it Simmons"

"Why did let the blue chick to come with us?"

"I need to make sure the blue survie so when we fight them and it'll be fair." Rogers had a faint worried as he over heard this. They continued to look around the facility, as they heard Caboose yell. They ran towards it, they so found him hear a large metal door.

"I don't like this." Rogers said as he heard something pound on the door. He walked back slowly and ducked as the door flew off and saw her.

"Motherfucker." Rogers and Vulcan said as they saw Tex. Vulcan was the first to run away followed by everyone else.

"I don't want to die." cried Vulcan. She soon found herself in the main storage room. She regrouped herself back with everyone.

"Maybe we should fight. I'm afraid she's going to start picking us off one by-" Before Simmons could finish a arm came crashing through a wall and grabbed Simmons then through him. Vulcan fired her pistol but it only made Tex mad. Tex then smashed through the wall and decked Vulcan in the visser. Massive amount of pain shot through her as tiny specks of glass cut her face. Rogers shoved Tex but only to be picked up and thrown through a teleporter to be teleported half way across the room. Vulcan got back on her feet to only be on the ground again after Tex threw a barrel. Rogers found his way back with his squad. He rammed Tex who was punching Grif in the balls. She let out a roar before picking Rogers up again and throwing him head first into Tucker. Meanwhile Vulcan stumbled around looking for anything to fight with, she saw a old warthog. She ran up to it but it won't start so she smashed the window and grabbed the largest and sharpest piece she could find and followed the sound of pain. As she ran, Vulcan found Tex strangling Tucker, she ran up and yelled.

"Hey Tex, karma's a bitch and so am I." She stabbed Tex in the armpit.

"Really! Glass!" Tex's arm began to spaz and let go of Tucker.

"Yes right in the sweet spot."

"Huh?"

"The small opening of the armor. All armor got em." Tex quickly pulled the glass shard out but not before she could run away towards the Reds who lucky had a rocket launched. When she got there Tucker was covered in soot and the Reds were beating him up. "You idiots that's Tucker."

"Ow." The next few moments went by so fast only only thing Vulcan could understand was Simmons fired a rocket launcher and the rocket following her and she was coming this way.

"Motherfucker." Rogers said jumping out of the way. Meanwhile Vulcan was sent flying and hit the ground hard. She couldn't move for a minute but got up and saw Church was back in some regular armor and Tex beat him up with his robot eye body.

"Wow." she said stumbling around. Rogers was rushed towards her. "Hey do me a favor check to see if I have any scars?" Vulcan taking off her helmet to reveal a few minor cuts and bruises, but her hair was tangled with blood and glass. "Well Doc how long I got." she laughed as she put her helmet back on.

"Nothing a shower,some whisky and a couple of band aids don't fix, your lucky the glass bits didn't go into the cuts or your eyes." Rogers said just before his armored locked up.

"What?" Just then Vulcans armor locked up too and she fell to the ground. "What's happening?"

"Our armors just locked."

"Caboose, ow. yelling bad." said Vulcan

"Hey at least Tex is trying to kill us."

"Now you're the optimist, never do you think this place has extra helmets this helmets fucked up."

"Probably." After a couple minute both of them got up. They regrouped back with Sarge and Church.

"Yo Church. Do you know where I can get a new helmet."

"Shelia."

"The crate on your left." Vulcan took off her helmet and looked through the crate. She found a helmet and put it on. When she got back Tex was on her feet.

"Ah."

"Don't worry she isn't going to hurt us. Except Tucker but that's besides the point." said Church.

"Um ok?" Vulcan said slowing walking towards the group. When Tex moved near her she coward back. "Please don't kill me."

"Boo."

"Ah." Vulcan screamed as she ran away.

"Come on that was too easy." yelled Tex. After a few minutes of hiding she came back out to see that the guys were telling her what happened.

"So Tucker I'm not sure about Tex." Vulcan said with fear.

"I know what you mean, come on."

Back with the reds, Rogers was hanging out with Grif and Simmons. Sarge then came up and spoke.

"Alright boys this is time we put the blues back in the database."

"Alright, come Grif, Rogers."

"Cool." Rogers began to walk buy went back down when he saw Tex.

"You dipshits did you blow up freelancer command?" Tex yelled with anger.

"No." said Simmons.

"Yeah we did." said Grif.

"Wait which is it?"

"We used EMP."

"Ya the building still there just not anything digital there."

"So the orange idiot was right."

"Thanks."

"That wasn't a component."

"I take what I can get." Shrugged Grif.

"Alright, you Simmons come with me."

"Goodbye." said Rogers. Rogers then left and found Vulcan with a campfire and some rations. "What'cha doing?"

"Just making some dinner. Want some jerky or stew."

"Stew." He took a seat and was about to take a bite but he felt wind rush past him and he looked to see that someone had stolen his stew. "Well that's that." Rogers got up.

"Where you going?" asked Vulcan.

"Oh I'm just to see what that was." He then turned around corner and saw Grif was passed out. "What was that."

"I installed a speed unit and it failed." Simmons said pointing at Grif. "Well their one more thing I got to do."

"Reinstall Blues to the database?" said Rogers.

"Bingo." Grif began to stand up but Simmons and Rogers carried him to the computers. Simmons. It was slow for the first hour it was boring. Simmons kept trying to access the computer and restore the blues but Fliss made it hard for him. After another hour Rogers and Grif had fallen asleep but he woke up to see Sarge.

"Sir." yawned Rogers.

"At ease." He closed his eyes and smirked when he heard Fliss mock Simmons but he and Grif got up when he heard that the blues were reinstated.

"Thats weird. If I'm reading this right there's a lot of other red and blue bases."

"Of course their are. The war is huge! The fate of the galaxy rest in the balance."

"Not from what I'm reading." said Rogers. He looked and everything brought memories he rather forget.

"Huh?"

"Take at look. I glanced at the missions for the reds and blue and they seem familiar."

"Let me see." said Simmons. He moved over and and looked at the screen. "They set up bases and sent freelancers in- for training."

"Training?" said Sarge. "That can't be right."

"No it says it here." said Simmons.

"Were just to test their skills."

"You mean the blues?"

"No both of us. It says Sim bases may provide scenarios that may occur in the galactic battlefield."

"That's nonsense. We've been through so much. We had the whole battle with the blues for that thing and Donut set off that bomb and we blasted through time and met an alien." Rogers looked down at the screen and laughed.

"You won't believe it that's scenario three."

"Why us though?" asked Grif. Simmons scrolled through the screen.

"Bases are outfitted with matching weapons and vehicles, to ensure long conflict and staffed by low level operatives?"

"What I'm not low level I'm an excellent soldier." Simmons continued to read off the report

"Red and Blue candidates squads are chosen from enlisted army ranks based on low test scores and poor field skills so as not be missed on."

"That does sound like me." said Grif. "But what about you two, aren't you smart Simmons and Rogers aren't you good with a gun."

"Those time limits aren't fair." said Simmons.

"And you Rogers?"

"I don't know. Maybe it's not just based on how good you are but who you are. Take me, I was alright with a gun but I wasn't really popular with my Sargent. I was a thorn in his side to say the least." Rogers said with a faded smile. Rogers turned his head to see Sarge leaving. Rogers, Grif and Simmons followed him to see that he built some kind of fort and Caboose was helping him.

"What's goin on?" asked Grif.

"This is new red base." said Caboose.

"Wow? How did you build this?" asked Rogers.

"I didn't built this Sarge did."

"Wait what?"

"When did he built this?" asked Grif.

"Just now."

"How it that even possible." said Rogers scratching his head.

"Oh he was sad and he's making a red base here and I'm helping."

"Go away dirtbags." Sarge said with sadness in his voice.

"Sir what's going on."

"Rogers didn't you hear, we're nothin more than cannon fodder. And if i'm the king of junk, i'll have a base of junk."

"Sir I think you need to calm down."

"Shut up Rogers."

"Ha ha." laughed Grif.

"You too dirt bag."

"Well sir this is an excellent strategy." said Simmons. Rogers became angry at Simmons.

"Christ still he's being a kiss ass." yelled Rogers.

"Calm down. You're just acting up like Sarge."

"I'm sorry it's, it's." Rogers began to calm down and heard Sarge rant on and heard him say he quit. Rogers felt sorry for him, Sarge was a good man and respected him but Rogers sat down on a couch and saw Tucker and Vulcan walking towards him.

"Hey what's going on?" asked Tucker.

"You might not like it."

"Try me." Smirked Tucker.

"The red and blue war was a sham." Rogers said with regret.

"What?!" yelled Vulcan.

"I already knew that." said Tucker.

"I wished I believed you." Vulcan said with anger.

"So V. What now, you said that you didn't want a Romeo and Juliet romance." Vulcan began to laugh and take off her helmet. She took off his and kissed him. Rogers looked in her eyes and notice that she had Icy blue and went for another kiss but she stopped him.

"That was a freeby next one you can have after we go a date." They began to talk but were interrupted by alarms.

"Level Zero. Alarm" said Fliss. Rogers and Vulcan got back on their feet and regrouped with Sarge. By the time they got there, everyone was there.

"We have to rescue them." said Caboose.

"Are you crazy." yelled Grif.

"But they'll die!" said Caboose. "Sargent please." Rogers stood there not know if he even cared enough to talk but he was surprised what he said next.

"I'm coming with yeah."

"So I'm I." jumped Vulcan.

"What the hell. The meta own me for my knee." said Rogers.

"What?" Grif said all surprised.

"I said i'm helping him."

"Who the blue guy? Why would you help him?" Sarge ignored Grif and kept talking.

"We need guns and lots of them."

"I saw a crate of munitions I'll bring here." Vulcan said right before taking off. Rogers stood their listing to Grif and Sarge.

"Well I'm not going."

"I'm not telling ya to go, I'm not going to ask."

"You're not?"Grif said surprised.

"No, I'm going so is Vulcan and Rogers. You can come with. But I don't expect ya to. Simmons probably tell ya we're going to die."

"Pretty much."

"That's not important. Let me ask ya a question, you ever wonder why we're here?"

"Seems like life's great mysteries." Simmons said.

"No, I mean you. What areyou doing here? You act like you want to quit but hell could've just left and no one would've stopped you. So why are you here? And you Simmons, you say you want to be in charge. They would have given you a squad a dozen time over. But you're still here. Rogers, Vulcan you guys were in love and would could've just ran away from the fight but you stuck with it and Tucker. As much I hate to admit your are a excellent soldier. I know you like to make comments and pretend that all of this doesn't matter, but you were chosen to be a hero but you're still here and Caboose, it's um nice to see ya."

"Thanks. Nice speech by the way."

"Maybe you're all here because this is the only place you fit in. Maybe because you have nowhere else to go or you just want to be here. In the end it doesn't matter, what matters that you're here for all we know Church and Tex are dead and we're the only one that knows what happened and the only one's that can stop them from cover this up." Rogers and Vulcan tightened their guns and were pumped for battle. "So these freelancers just use us and take us away from our families and send us all over the galaxy to test their agents for the big fight, well I'm interested in showing them what a big fight is all about. I'm not ordering you to go, I ain't even asking you do what you want to do Grif." Rogers turned his head and held his breath for Grif's next words.

"*Sigh* I'll get the car keys."

"Hooray!" yelled Vulcan.

"That the spirit missy now let's move out."

"Sir the jeep isn't fast enough." said Simmons. "But I know what we can use." Simmons then led the group to a hanger and unveiled a old pelican.

"Who's going to be driver." asked Rogers. The group turned their heads towards Grif.

"Ah hell." he sighed.

"There's one last thing I need to do." said Vulcan.

"What's that?" asked Sarge.

"Refueling the pelican." Vulcan said checking the fuel gauge. She quickly popped open the fuel line and filled it up while everyone was loading in. The pelican was soon in air and Rogers grabbed Vulcan from the ground and the bay door closed.

"So how long till we get there?" asked Rogers loading his SMG.

"My guess fifteen minutes." said Simmons.

"Hit the boost, all of the T-9X have em. My granddad even showed me how activated it." Vulcan said making her way to the cockpit. "Here we go." she then punched in a sequence of buttons and dials and a red flashy light came on. "Wait is this a T-9X or T-9Y because if this a T-9Y that might be the self destruct code." she said with an uneasy laugh. The flashy light stopped and they picked up speed. "Oh thank god." A few minutes later they slowed down and Rogers could see Wash and the Meta.

"Alright Grif just land next to em." said Rogers.

"Right land."

"You do know how to land this vehicle right?"asked Sarge.

"Sure that means stop flying."

"Brace for impact!" Screamed Rogers. The next thing Rogers knew the Pelican hit the ground hard and he was squished between Sarge and Simmons. When they stopped he got to his feet took off his helmet and vomited in a trash can. The bay door opened he put on his helmet and met with Doc and Wash. Rogers tackled Wash but Church was pulling him off. "What the hell man."

"Wash is on our team. For now." Rogers then helped Wash to his feet. Church was doing his own thing at the moment but Rogers watched out for the Meta. He over heard Wash say that Tex was trapped in the memory unit and Church was angry about it.

"I think I can get Tex out of the memory unit. Blues go inside to find some tools."

"Found one." Vulcan said pointing at Tucker.

"This is no time for jokes. You four look for anything that might have a power source." Rogers nodded and ran inside. Vulcan was inside and only found a wrench and a hammer.

"Tucker any lu-*BOOM*" Vulcan turned her head and heard gunshots. She ran towards it, when she got there she saw Wash fighting off the Meta. She aimed her assault rifle and landed a shot but the rest seemed to bounce off. Rogers did the same, but the Meta seemed to ignore Wash for the moment and focused on the reds and blues. Rogers began to spray bullets at the Meta, but had no luck he popped open his energy shield and rockets, grenades and bullets bounced off into the snow. The next thing he knew the Meta collapsed the shield and fired its grenade launcher at them. Vulcan rolled out of the way and fired a whole clip, the Meta then charge at her but lucky Grif and Rogers tackled him but he quickly threw them off.

"Rogers catch." Vulcan said as she threw a tomahawk. He caught it and hit the Meta's arm. The Meta took it out and threw it at him, he ducked and it hit the a warthog. Sarge placed a hook on the Meta. Rogers quickly ran to the warthog and helped Grif push it off the ledge.

"Boom Bitch." Rogers said as the Meta began to slide down the cliff. In the middle of celebrating the Meta grabbed Grif and dragged him off the cliff, Simmons tried to save him but he couldn't hold on. Grif soon fell, "I'm sorry." Rogers said with tears on his tears.

"You know some time when people fall off a cliff they're like hanging on a tree branch or something." said Tucker.

"It's worth a look." said Vulcan.

"No, he's definitely dead. If we look it just get our hopes up and then we'd be let down."

"Look over the god damn edge please." yelled Grif. Vulcan took a look and saw he stuck the Meta grenade launcher into the ice. Vulcan then got a long piece of rope and Girf held on and took the grenade launcher thing with him. After Vulcan and Rogers pulled up Grif she went over towards Church to tell him the good news but found him lay on the ground.

"Did Church's chassis take a stray bullet?"

"No he went in to find her." said Caboose.

"What!" He can't do this first he dies then comes back and dies again. That is all Vulcan could think about. She sat on the ground and Rogers sat next to her.

"Hey don't worry Simmons is fixing the thing up."

"NO!" Vulcan then began to cry but Rogers try to comfort her so did Caboose who was on the verge of tears. For the next hour Vulcan helped Wash into Church's armor and placed his robot guts into Wash's armor. The next minute UNSC Troops arrived and took each of the soldier statements. She told the truth for the most part and lied when it came to Wash, Tex and Church. After they were done she slip onto a hornet and took off.

"What now?" Vulcan asked through her helmet radio.

"I don't know but something tells me this isn't going to be the last time Project freelancer will bite us in the ass." Replied Wash.

"Let em come, I survived a fight with Tex and The Meta so that makes us unkillable." Rogers said.

"Would you like me to test that theory Joke Sarge."


	7. Chapter 7

**Season eight Psa**

Rogers was taking a sip of whisky from his flask when the construction works were fixing up the wall. "You know you're not suppose to brake the set?"

"Piss of you wankers." Rogers said with a thick Irish accent.

"Oh hey, I'm Dick Simmons from the popular web series Red vs Blue."

"And I'm Dan Rogers from the same show." Rogers said switching back to a regular American accent.

"Now we're getting ready for the next episode from sets to even us. This season we have a lot of changes."

"Yeah like my pay." Rogers said under his breath.

"And we're getting in shape." The camera pans to Grif trying to do a pushup and Sarge yelling "Now all of the preparation may seem like because of our fancy new moves."

"Some of it is." yelled one of the workers.

"Simmons you stand back while I beat up some Yankees." Rogers then began to fight with one of the workers while Simmons was talking. He came back with blood on his armor.

"Like I said, Red vs Blue is the single most manly show there is."

"Don't forget most popular thing on the internet and website. Ok second most popular not including porn and millionth most popular website behind- where did my flask go."

 **Does anyone experience the same problem? When I publish stuff words will be taken out and when I look over at my Google drive version those words are still there. Is it just me or do you guys have the same problem when you post stuff on this site**


	8. Chapter 8

**pro tips**

"Hello I'm Sarge from the popular webseries Red vs Blue."

"And I'm Emma Vulcan from the same show. You know lots of people ask us how did RvB become so popular and famous. So we thought we'd help all the new producers out with RvB tip guide."

"First tip is that you need to start the video with a bunch of Text so you can tell people what's going on." said Sarge. "Don't forget the opening credits."

"Now you need music, make sure if fits the tone. Like a western with a hint of dubstep or a child's movie with heavy M rated metal. Also make sure it's loud."

"Now here's a good one , slow motion. It comes in slow, slower and super slow. Now to demonstrate I will send Vulcan flying by a grenade."

"Wait do we have a video of that- aw shit." The camera fade to black with her yelling.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Four**

 **I thought long and hard about this one and I decided that like all of my previous chapter will follow the show time line thing. So this one will take place in the memory unit and kind of follow Church's thought as well but it still focus on Vulcan and Rogers.**

It was bright and sunny day in Blood Gulch, Vulcan was on a ledge yelling for Church to come over here. "Hey ass wipe get over here." She yelled.

"Give me a minute." Church yelled back.

"Just get over here!"

"Fine I am coming! God." Church then stormed over stomping his feet.

"God what his problem this recon mission would only take five ten minutes." Vulcan said in an annoyed tone.

"Alright remember the plan." Caboose said.

"Oh dear god."

"What plan?" Tucker asked.

"Wait is it operation befriend Church Alpha or beta." Vulcan said in a sarcastic tone.

"Alpha. Now let me do the talking sh sh he's here." This is dumb. That all Vulcan could think about. "So hi Church, welcome to the cliff."

"Hey guys wha-." Church said out of breath.

"How are you out of breath, that wasn't more than a hundred feet." Vulcan said.

"Abort, plan Alpha failed."

"That's it? That was your master plan."

"Just let him have it." Vulcan smirked.

"What do you want." Church said wheezing.

"Vulcan was right, that wasn't even a hundred feet."

"I'm just out of breath. I've forgotten what human body was like."

"OK." Vulcan then stepped away bring Tucker with her. "Church has finally lost his mind."

"Just play it cool he doesn't seem murdery, yet anyway." Tucker then stepped forward.

"You know I can hear you right, but what do you need again?"

"Well there's some movement at red base and since the TV doesn't work I thought we should check it out." Vulcan replied.

"Movement? What kind of movement?"

"You know that car they got." Vulcan pointed at Red base and sure enough a car was done their.

"Yeah?"

"They put some mods on it."

"What kind of mods?"

"I don't know, it looks like they been working on the turret."

"What! You guys have been up watching them."

"Dude they're fifty, sixty feet away. They could just easily standing around listen to the radio for all I know, I can't see shit." Tucker said.

"I'll look for myself." Church the took out the sniper rifle.

"You know how to use that big boy?" Vulcan mocked.

"Of course I do, just um zoom no wait zoom in."

"Press the black button." Tucker sighed.

"Shut up."

Meanwhile at Red base, Roger was working on the rocket turret. "Hey boss Turret OK to go. Just be careful." Rogers said nervously.

"And the fuel line should work. So fire her up." Sarge got in and the started the engine. The jeep was up and running.

"Rogers hop on and test her out." Rogers was nervous but he nodded and jumped on he then aimed it at the blues on the cliff and fired away.

Back with the blues, Church was telling his squad what he saw. "I don't like the sound of that."

"I think it's a rocket launcher." Tucker said.

"Tucker don't be stupid that-Son of bitch." The Reds began to fire rockets more rockets. Vulcan stayed down on the ground to avoid being hit. She began to hear the reds taunt them.

"I'm coming for you, and I mean the reds are coming for you." Rogers yelled.

"Yeah." Donut yelled. "Now reload Simmons."

"OK but I want a turn."

"Fine Simmons, I was a little too nervous for in anyways," Rogers off and Simmons took over firing the rockets.

Back with Blues."Wait is that Donut?" Church said.

"I I know for sure is that's the chick who says my armor's tacky." Vulcan said.

"That's not a girl."

"Really? Uh."

"I feel pretty awkward what I did a hour ago."

"TMI Tucker TMI." Vulcan said all disgusted.

"Take that." Rogers yelled.

"Ya, Hoorha!" Donut yelled.

"Damn it this is all wrong. Donut giving orders, Rogers being a nervous wreck. I'm going to stop this." Church said. Church then got to his feet and began walked down towards Red base.

"Where are you going?!" Tucker asked.

"If we're going to do this. Then we're going to do it right!" Church then left.

"Well he's dead." Vulcan said.

Meanwhile at Red base, Rogers was feeling pretty good about defeating the Blues in the just recent skirmish. "Alright I saw we sneak back and take em out." said Donut.

"Cool man so jus-"

"Hey reds Hold on a sec. Ceasefire." Church said holding a white flag. Rogers took out his rifle and aimed it at him but it was shaky.

"What do you want ?" Rogers yelled in a nervous tone. Church as he approached. Donut began to fire at him.

"Hey I called a ceasefire."

"Yeah yeah."

"Come on I just want to talk for a second."

"About what? Your team's surrender?"

"I say we just shoot him." Donut said. "With red h-"

"Please stop talking." Simmons yelled.

"Let me just wound him."

"Alright fine." Sarge said. Donut shot Church in the foot and spoke again.

"There now you can talk."

"AHHHHHHH OWWW." Church screamed in pain.

Vulcan watched as Church got shot in the foot and she then began to leave. "Where are you going?"

"Well Tuck I'm going to sell Church shit on E-bay."

"Alright we do 50/50 on whatever we sell."

"70/30."

"Fine."

"Come on Caboose." The ground then left back to base.

Back at Red base Church had calmed down and spoke. "I just want to say you're doing this wrong." Rogers and Simmons looked at each other and spoke.

"What do you even mean?" Simmons asked.

"I mean like where's Grif."

"He's inside clean." Rogers said.

"I mean that's what's wrong. Grif isn't tidy at all he's a slob and Sarge you're not even yelling at anyone."

"I believe that unfair to yell at someone who can't yell back."

"And Donut you're suppose to be uh, free spirited not a over achieving jarhead. Rogers is well, less nervous. You're chill but not the bro kind of chill."

"Yeah right." Rogers laughed.

"That what I mean you're a chill dude and Simmons well you're pretty much the same."

"Ow."

"Now remember this isn't how it's supposed to be I mean Donut keep a diary or somethin."

"A what?"

"Never mind. Now excuse me I have to go and bleed out." Church then began to limp away.

"The nerve of some people." Sarge said.

"I know that was weird. Hey do you guys think I'm a nervous wreck?" Rogers asked.

"I mean you got better. Remember how you cried when you saw that spider."

"Oh god that blue was right." Rogers then ran off. What if he know more about him maybe he's a spy. Terrifying thought raced around his head.

Back at blue base Vulcan was on the computer audition stuff on E-bay but she heard Caboose yelling she got off the computer and ran out of the base and saw Church was alive. "Holy shit." She went over to him. "Good to see that you're still alive."

"No thanks to you. Hey what was with those people driving by and one guy looked like he had my desk."

"About that I-"

"Never mind I don't want to know." Church continued limp back inside but was stopped again by Tucker and Caboose.

"Wow you're early."

"What do you mean it took me an hour to limp across the canyon." Church said with anger in his voice,

"Well we all thought you died so you technically early."

"Shut up!"

"Hey you alright?" Caboose asked.

"I was shot in the foot."

"I was shot in the foot too once. I lost a toe."

"Hey I got command on the line do you want a medic?" Vulcan asked.

"NO! No medics please."

"Alright, alright." Vulcan went inside but Caboose stole the radio from her hands and began to talk she tried to take it back but he held her at bay. Once he was done she ran out.

"What now?"

"Um Caboose stole the radio and um well."

"Caboose!" Caboose came out of the base. "What did we tell you about using the radio." Tucker said.

"Don't use it unless it's an emergency or an 800 number."

"Damn it Caboose what did I tell you, whenever you order one of those doo hickey it cuts into my ingredient let me hear it what'cha ya buy this time."

"Nothing."

"Caboose!"

"I promise you won't see anything. For 6-8 weeks."

"Damn it." Vulcan sighed.

"You sound upset. You'll probably want some beef 'll be ready in 6-8 weeks."

"At least you got something that relates to food." Vulcan said rolling her eyes. "Maybe it will be nice."

"Wait for it." Tucker said.

"And you'll be really happy when you can store twice as many bullets."

"For the billionth time that's not how it works." Tucker yelled.

" I still can't believe you by that shit on the TV." Church said scoffing.

"Not all the time, some of the time. And that special force person."

"I'm going to shoot you." Vulcan said.

"Wait did you just say?" Church asked.

"Oh they're sending someone to help us."

"Really? They aren't supposed to send someone till I'm dead."

"We thought you were dead." Tucker said.

"Anyway's did they say who their sending?"

"Um yes." There was an awkward silence.

"Well do you remember who?"

"No."

"God damn it." Church yelled.

Meanwhile at Red base, Rogers was sitting on the ledge of Red base when he heard Sarge calling for him. He looked down and saw it was a long drop. "Alright Dan you can do you need to prove that Blue wrong." He held his breath as he jumped down and went towards Sarge. "Yes sir."

"We're about to build a robot and I need you and Simmons to go get Donut."

"Alright." Rogers nodded and then him and Simmons follow him.

"Hold right there." Grif said.

"What's wrong?" Simmons asked.

"I just mopped the floor."

"We don't have time for this."

"For what? A job well done. Anyways you can wait for five minutes."

"But I need to get by now."

"Simmons, Rogers you know the rules and what happens if we don't follow the rules.? Chaos."

"Hey Simmons I think I remember why we came inside. Grif, Sarge wanted us to tell to go take a break."

"A what?"

"You know a break. Where you just stop working. That sort of thing."

"Right? Um how do I do that again?"

"Just stop cleaning. Hey where's Donut." Simmons added.

"He's in his bunk reading some book."

"What book?"

"I don't know, he reads it and cries."

"I'm not crying." Donut said coming out of his room.

"I don't care. Sarge wants you outside to help us build a robot."

"I'm not feeling it." Donut sighed.

"Blue got got'cha feeling down?"

"Maybe."

"Why did listen to him?"

"I donno."

"Well come out." Rogers said.

"Alright I'll come out in a minute." Donut then left.

"Well see ya." Rogers then left dragging mud.

"Grif, Rogers is dragging mud on the floor."

"Huh? Sorry I didn't hear ya. I was kind of doing nothing. Kinda nice." The ground then began to rumble.

"Whoa!" Tee ground stopped shaking as fast as it started. Rogers stood under a door frame and stay there for a minute just incase the ground would shake again, when there was no sign of another Earthquake Rogers left the base and met back up with Sarge.

"Rogers, where's Donut?"

"He's still inside."

"Well alright just hand me my wrench." For the next hour Rogers helped Sarge and Simmons. When they were half way through Donut came out.

"Hey guys the robot looking good." Donut said.

"Thanks." Sarge said.

"Hey Sarge can I talk to you?" Donut asked.

"OK."

"In private?" Rogers shook his head as if to say, if you want me to leave then you're shit out of luck. Rogers kept working on the robot while Donut and Sarge left.

"So Simmons."

"Yeah Rogers?"

"You ever wonder why we're here?"

Meanwhile at blue Vulcan was talking to Tucker. "So that when I got her number but then I lost it." Tucker said.

"Wait why am I talking to you about a girl who said she 'spend the night'."

"I don't know." Tucker shrugged. Vulcan watched as Tucker went towards the tank.

"Sheila turn on!" Church yelled.

"What is it this time." Vulcan and Tucker went towards Church who was yelling at the tank.

"Church why are you talking to the tank? Have you lost your mind finally?"

"What? No, i'm just trying to turn on the tank."

"Why don't you just use the key." Tucker said.

"You have the keys for the tank?" Church said all excited.

"Nah the ass hats at command forgot the keys to the thing. Whenever you want to use it you have hot wire it."

"V, can you start the tank before Tex shows up?"

"Who's Tex again."

"It's his 'girlfriend' and secrete agent."

"It complicated." This made her laugh, but to be fair ain't all relationship.

"Wait are you trying to wow her so she'll you back? Church honey you we're lucky to get her in the first place."

"Hey, and wrong. I need the tank to defend us just in case things get little outta hand."

"You know I'll hot wire the tank know." Vulcan then went to the tank and began to hot wire the tank.

"You know I had a girlfriend once."

"Good for you Caboose." Vulcan smirked.

"I met her on the Internet."

"I take it back."

"Her name was Emelia, she'd sent me letter all the time. Letters from my family and stuff I bought."

"Caboose you we're dating your E-Mail not a chick named Emelia."

"I lost our special work and now she won't talk to me."

"So you lost your password."

"Nan she probably made because you made out with her sister. Voicemelia." Vulcan began to laughed.

"She talked too much."

"Shut up! Vulcan how long till you finished with the tank?"

"I don't know.I've only ever done this once."

"In the meantime I'll teach how to flirt." said Tucker.

"For fuck's sake." sighed Church.

Back at red base Rogers was sitting around for Sarge to come back but Donut kept talking for an hour or so. "Hey Rogers."

"Hey Grif."

"Is Sarge and Donut still talking?"

"Yeah."

"I'll go see if they need anything." said Simmons. As Simmons left Rogers began to talk again.

"So uh Grif how was your break?"

"Nice. I really liked that." Sarge then came. "Sir."

"Where were we?" asked Sarge.

"Just finishing up the robot sir."

"Oh ya. Get back to work!"

At blue base Vulcan was helping Tucker to teach Church how to flirt. "Shouldn't she be hot wiring the tank."

"Hey I don't like this but it's either me or Caboose." Churched shuttered. He turned his head to look at Tucker.

"How are you even qualified."

"You kidding?"

"No how are even qualified, I never even seen you with a girl." said Church.

"I frenched Vulcan."

"Fuck you buddy." Vulcan said giving him the middle finger.

"Now hold all your question to the end. Now any questions."

"Yes I-" said Caboose.

"That was a trick question."

"Oh yeah why didn't you hold your question to the end?" smirked Vulcan.

"The rules don't apply to me.

"So we learned our first rule girls like a rebels. They want a free spirit, so they can mold you into what they want. So let's role play."

"So let me guess you want Church to hit on me."

"Yep. Now you're the 'girlfriend' just go to base! Now action."

"Hey there baby."

"I will cut you."

"Vulcan!" Tucker yell with angry.

"No she is kind of acting like Tex. So um hey what's up."

"Crying over how stucky these pickup lines."

"Church say something rebellious."

"I think the working should rise against the rich people."

"Wow!" It was kind of weird.

"I said rebellious not revolutionary."

"I drive a fast car over the speed limit."

"Oh take me now." laughed Vulcan.

At red base Rogers had finally finished the robot. He had just bolted on the vissar. "Sir would you like to do the honors?"

"That be nice."

"Hey sir what did we need a robot for anyways?" asked Donut.

"Oh the small task that none of us want to do. Math, vehicle maintenance and pretty much any task that isn't officially in their job description."

"Hey Simmons I think you got yourself a rival."

"Rogers, please that *Uneasy laugh* yeah."

"Come on dude, it's just a joke. Now you can harder task or some shit because that thing does the easier tasks for ya." The ground began to shake and then it stopped again. "Shit earthquake."

"Don't worry it passed." said Donut.

"Alright let's stop yapping and turn on this thing on." Sarge said turning on the robot. As the robot turned on it began to speak spanish.

"Why is it speaking Spanish sir?" asked Rogers.

"I did on purpose, I thought we needed a little diversity on our team."

"Um sir."

"Yes Rogers."

"Doesn't this seem like an inconvenience."

"Now that I think about it that does seem like a dumb thing to do." Another earthquake happened and Lopez began to scream in spanish.

"Hey it looks like he's already replacing ya." laughed Rogers.

"Worse day ever." Rogers went to do his duties for the first hour it was quiet but another earthquake happened and it was worse. He went up to the top of the base but when he got there the quake stopped.

"Hey Rogers."

"Hey Grif. How's Lopez?"

"Pretty cool." shrugged Grif.

"I'm happy for him." Simmons said in a sarcastic tone.

"WOW. That was a too little sarcastic."said Rogers. Simmons left, and Grif spoke.

"Hey let's go hang out with Lopez."

"Ya!" Donut and Rogers said in unison.

"He's so cool." said Donut.

Back at blue base Vulcan finished hotwiring the tank and was heading back towards Church. "Hey Tucker what Church talking about?"

"He's saying that he's a computer."

"Church lost his mind finally." Church kept yapping but she didn't listen to him. Next thing she knew there was a grenade.

"Vulcan you dropped a grenade."

"Nan I didn't pack any today."

"Tucker?"

"I got a read out."

"Shit! Caboose."

"Oh no I'm not allowed to carry grenade since I blew up the kitchen."

"Someone threw a grenade at us." sighed Vulcan.

"We should've realized that sooner."said Tucker. The next thing they knew there was a flash of light and a loud bang. She couldn't hear or see. She began to swing her fists and hit something and heard a muffled son of a bitch.

"IS THAT YOU TUCKER!" yelled Vulcan.

"WHAT?!" The first thing that came back was her eyesight(Which Was never good in the beginning) she saw that it was Church.

"SORRY!" Her hearing came back.

"Open fire!" yelled Church. Vulcan fired away till her mag was empty.

At red base Rogers was at top of the base he looked through the scope of a sniper. He could see a large flash near blue base. Those jackasses must of blown themselves up. He saw Lopez enter the cave. "Hey Rogers where's Lopez?" asked Donut.

"Oh he went into a cave."

Back at blue base Tex had shown up. She was lucky that her hearing and eyesight came back. "Hey jackass what was with the flash bang?" asked Vulcan angrily.

"Shut up." said Tex.

"You really know how to pick 'em ah Church."

"ARE THERE OTHER PEOPLE?" yelled Caboose.

"Stop yelling."

"Seriously though why did you attack us?"

"I need to evaluate the situation, I heard someone was dead and all I find is four dipshit arguing."

"You could have used your words! That's what your mouth is used for and god knows my eyes ain't that good." Vulcan said angrily.

"Oh who's dead?"

"No one we just made a mistake, we thought-"

"We thought we'd bury our team mate and take his name off the roster." Church said cutting off Tucker.

"Wait what?" said Tex. "What about-"

"Tucker is taking it pretty hard." said Vulcan.

"But still why did you take his name off the roster."

"It seemed appropriate at the time."

"What was his name?"

"Smith." said Tucker.

"Anderson." said Vulcan.

"Well which is it?"

" Andersmith." said Church..

"Andersmith?"

"I'll miss him so much." Cried Caboose.

"This is going to be a long day." said Vulcan.

"Excuse me I got to check in with command." Tex then left.

"Ok, I just need to make sure that she sticks around for awhile, so I can talk to her for a little bit and investigating 'Andersmith' will be a good distraction."

"Church I'm going to tell you something you might need to here."

"What?"

"This all nice and all but isn't creepy to created then kill a man so you can stalker her."

"Well um, no harm no foul right."

"I know a good lawyer for lawsuit when your 'girlfriend' files a lawsuit." Vulcan said taking out a card.

"I'll miss Andersmith, he was so young."

"Caboose he isn't real." said Vulcan

"How can you say that." Caboose said in an offended tone. "He's a reminder of how close we all are of not being here one day." The whole team stood there and looked at Caboose.

"Ok I don't care about the stalker thing anymore and I care more about Caboose." Vulcan said in a worried tone.

"He didn't exist, there never was anyone named Andersmith."

"Denial is an important stage of grieving."

"God dammit I give up." said Vulcan. Vulcan looked over to see Tex hanging up on her call.

"Shit Tex is done talking. Vulcan start a conversation."

"Um alright. So Tucker did you hear about how the blue army took that one base on that one planet." Tex then walked up and spoke.

"Alright dipshits, I'm going to stick around till we get this dead guy problem solved."

"Wait, how are we getting the dead problem solved. Are we getting a new recruit or some shit?" asked Vulcan.

"We're going to even the teams, come on let's go kill us a red." Vulcan shrugged her shoulders and followed Tex.

At redbase Rogers was hanging out with Griff. "So how do you like being lazy?"

"It's fine and all."

"Hey guys. Have you seen Simmons.?" asked Donut.

"Yeah, he's up the hill." Grif said pointing at the Maroon colored soldier.

"I think he's doing a science project. I don't know I'm on guard duty." Donut then left.

"Hey Rogers can I have a sip of your flask?" Rogers pulled it out and took a huge gulp.

"Sorry bud but that was my last sip."

"Jackass."

At Blue base Vulcan followed Tex to the top of the hill. Tex looked down the scope of hee gun and spoke.

"Pick one."

"Anyone?"

"Preferably one on that side of the canyon." Chills ran through Vulcan spine. "Well shoot." Church tried to stall her but she was fed up and took the rifle from Church's hands.

"Alright who should we shoot. The pink one, the orange one, the fiery-red, I know the red one. He is there leader and he does look tough. But the Maroon one looks like he's up to something."

"Shoot the red one he's an asshole." said Vulcan.

"Screw it the maroon one is closer." Tex pulled the trigger and aimed at Donut but she stopped when she heard him crying. As Tex left Vulcan had a grim look.

"Doesn't anyone have sudden guilt about this."

"Yeah." said Tucker.

Meanwhile Rogers rushed where he saw what Donut what crying about. "Simmons, noooooooo! Those bastards why." Rogers said shaking his fist at the sky. "Why didn't you take Grif instead or Lopez why." Grif and Sarge rushed over to see the carnage.

"Alright, help me pick up the bits and pieces of Simmons." Rogers got up and did just that. They piled the bits of metal and wire in a huge pile, while Grif got a box and scoped the remains in.

"I just want to say something." said Rogers.

"What?"

"I think we should have an Irish wake for Simmons he'd like that." said Rogers. Sarge nodded his head.

"But where are we going to get the booze?" asked Grif.

"One minute." Rogers ran inside and grabbed his stash of booze and ran back to the group. He handed each one a beer and spoke. "I won't forget the first time I met Simmons. He was in the pelican and I spoke to him for a minute."

"That's it?" said Sarge.

"Ya well it isn't like he talked to people or we listen to him. Donut you try."

"He said that he like gum I think."

"Grif you try." said Sarge.

"Why me?"

"Weren't you guys like best friends." Donut said raising an eyebrow.

"Well um about that. He would talk a lot but i'd just tune him out."

"What about you sir? I mean he'd always talk to you."

"Ya well he did like taking order. I'd give give him dumb tasks that would take days just so he'd leave me alone."

"So I guess we all ignored him. So ya I regret giving him an Irish wake now." They stood there in awkward silence for a minute till a person in maroon armor came up and spoke.

"Hey guys I'm you already killed Lopez awesome" Wait Simmons isn't dead well shit now I really regret giving everyone my beer, Rogers thought as he looked at the maroon trooper.

"Shut it we're trying to give a eulogy for Simmons." said Sarge.

"Wait I'm- go on."

"Alright I say we dumped the box in the caves. Agree say I."

"I." said the group in unison.

"Wait. Simmons isn't dead." said Sarge.

"Just to be safe." Rogers went up to Simmons and punched him.

"Wait what the hell asshole." Simmons said putting his jaw back in place.

"Hey I just need to make sure you weren't a robot."

"I hate you."

"Well Simmons I say you get rid of lopez's body. Just dump the pieces at my workshop." Simmons sighed and began to drag the box."Now let's go finished our beers at the mess hall."

"Woo." said Rogers. The group then left to the mess hall.

Back at Blue base, Vulcan was sitting at the top of the base talking to the guys. "Come on guys just help me figure out a way for her to stick around a little bit longer."

"We could make up another team mate and kill them." said Vulcan.

"I'm serous."Church.

"Dude I'll tell you what my Grandma told me. Don't chase a person through multiple existences." Churched growled at her. "That was serious. She's mentally ill but it's still sound." Before Church could make a witty response Tex came up to the group.

"Hey I'm going to stick around for a little longer."

"That was easy." said a surprised Vulcan.

"Caboose said something about the tank and I like the kid."

"Plus I payed her a hundred bucks."

"Shit." said Vulcan. "How do you have cash? The blue army guys said I'd get my cash once my tour was up."

"I don't know?" shrugged Caboose

"Caboose give me some money." said Vulcan.

"Is this a trick, i'll give you a hundred bucks to show me."

"Score." she said as Caboose handed him a crisp hundred dollar bill.

At Red base Rogers was hanging out with Grif while Simmons bitched them out. "I can't believe that you thought Lopez was me."

"What can I say, you two were identical." said Rogers.

"He painted himself maroon and spoke spanish." Simmons said angrily.

"I thought you were learning and just spoke it to practice."

"You to are idiots." Simmons said angrily. Rogers rolled his eyes and turned off his radio set. He taunted Simmons but his radio mysteriously came back on. "You guys do realize that Sarge and I have radio override right?Hey what do you think he was using this equipment for anyways?"

"Probably a science project of some sorts." shrugged Rogers. Simmons looked over Lopez's note. At first he didn't think much of what Lopez said in his notes but Rogers could tell it wasn't good when he called Sarge to tell him to call a meeting. Rogers and Grif then went to the mess hall which doubled over as a area to debriefed. Rogers paid attention to the usually 'I called you down here' jargon but paid some attention to Simmons.

"I'm going to turn this meeting over our chief scientist engineer,Simmons. Who isn't going to over explain things." Rogers didn't have a good feeling about what Simmons had to say. He knew that it was going to be bad.

"Men, I have made a grave discovery. Looking over the equipment Lopez was using shows that the planet is going under a seismic breakdown." The whole squad looked at each other. Rogers had a feeling that what Simmons was telling him that the planet is going to have a huge earthquake but it was far worse. "The world is braking we're all going to die." Rogers held his breath as he walked way, he then began to scream to the point it hurt.

"I don't want to die!" he screamed at the top of his lungs. The caused Sarge to punch the two troopers to calm down. "Thank you sir."

"Welcome. But I devised a plan to fix all this."

"You're buying us tickets to get off this rock?" said a hopeful Rogers.

"What? No, we're going to strike back and quickly." Rogers sat up thinking everything was going to be alright but his hopes were crushed just like a ant under a fat childs boot. "Grif what's that bad sci-fi movie where they try to fix a natural disaster with a bomb?"

"Every bad sci-fi movie sir."

"Right, we're going to drill our way to the core detonate the bomb." Rogers twitched his eye and was internally screaming. "Donut you find a hole to start drilling, Grif you get the bomb, Rogers you pack lunch and I'll work on the drill." Rogers raised his hand."Yes Rogers?"

"Two things. Turkey or chicken."

"Turkey."

" to have a freak out before going on this suicide mission"

"Permission granted." Rogers nodded, stepped outside and began to run around screaming profanities and how we're all going to die. Once he was done, he quickly made lunch. As he was finishing up Simmons came in.

"I can't believe you're going along with this." Simmons said raising his hands in the air.

"Isn't like I got a choice, we don't have enough money for a transport so it's this or wait to for the ground to swallow me whole." Rogers then packed everything up and regrouped with the Reds.

Back at Blue base, Vulcan aimed at the Orange piece of shit but was too tired to pull the trigger. She pulled an all nighter and hasn't been able to concentrate. "GRRRRR. SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU PIECE OF SHIT!" yelled Vulcan.

"I like that in V, you and I are going to make a bomb." Vulcan had a devilish grin under helmet. She then helped Tex piece it together, she took part of a android kit, and a tank shell. After half a day the bomb was finished. Soon Vulcan will get her revenge for all those lost hours of sleep.

"Hey I like the grenade on your chest." said the bomb.

"The fuck?"

"I'll explain later." Tex said rubbing the back of her head. Vulcan shook it off and helped Tex move the bomb out of the base. Everyone came out and looked at it.

"Doesn't really look like a bomb." said Tucker.

"And you don't look like a soldier." said the bomb.

"Though it sounds like an asshole." sighed Tucker.

"We had to use parts from a protocol droid kit. So it talks." Vulcan turned off her radio, but she knew it was making comments about everyone. When Tex left she turned on her radio.

"So that was different." said Vulcan. She seen alot of talking things in her life, a ship, a car and house but never a bomb.

At Red base Rogers was with his squad. Sarge was about to reveal the drill and 'save the world'. "Alright Donut do we have the drill spot?"

"Yes sir."

"Great. Rogers hows lunch?"

"I got chicken and turkey sandwiches."

"Great! Now the most important thing, the bomb. Grif do you have it ready?"

"Should be here any minute now." Rogers gave Grif a odd look but he didn't much in the end.

"Well till then, here's our drilling machine." Rogers looked in awe. It wasn't the coolest thing he ever saw but still it was impressive to a point.

"Sarge how'd you build it?"

"With that." Sarge pointed to an excavator, which for some reason Rogers or anyone didn't notice till he pointed it out.

"Holy shit!" Rogers then was ready for his mission.

"Hi there." said an unfamiliar voice. Rogers looked around and didn't see anything, then when he looked down he saw a small bomb it then started to tick. Rogers was frozen with fear,and the bomb continued to tick. He then began to run around screaming.

"Damn it! I never thought Grif would get us killed." The bomb began to count down. "Why is using numbers to count down that make it worse." cried Rogers.

"Does anyone want to say any last words?" asked Simmons.

"I just want to say that, you guys were great and Donut it was me who killed your pet parrot not Simmons.I couldn't take the squawking oh god the squawking." said Rogers.

"I want to thank all thank all the little people and-"

"This is not the time for your Academy Award Speech."

"When is it time Simmons, when." The bomb had just gotten down to ten and kept counting.

"It been an honor." Sarge said give them a salute.

"My only regret is that I don't have any more regrets."

"Well I guess I should be honest. I never respected any of you, I thought I was better then all of you, I was under appreciated and I wasted my life knowing all of you." said Simmons. Rogers was too scared to angrily and he closed his eyes.

"ONE! KABOOM." yelled the bomb. When nothing happened Rogers opened his eyes to see that he was still alive.

"Huh, the bomb was a dud. Well that's awesome. Also Simmons you're a jackass."

"Well shit."

Back at Blue base Vulcan was hoping on the tank. "Come on Church." yelled Vulcan as she took a seat.

"I'm not going."

"You're not?" said a surprised Tucker.

"Nah, you guy go. I don't know how much time we have left and I rather spend it at some place I like and If you see Agent Washington, tell him memory is the key."

"We will and Church." Tucker said giving him a hand shake. Vulcan took out a necklace, nothing fancy but something her mother gave her when she was a child.

"Church." said Vulcan.

"Yay?"

"Here." Vulcan threw a necklace to Church and he caught it. "I expect you to return it one day alright."

"I will." Church said with a false smile. The tank began to move and everyone but Church hoped on and left. Tex jumped off and ran back at the base.

"Hey guys you know somethin. That name Agent Washington seems like a old memory." said Tucker. She thought about it and it sort of did.

At Red base Rogers just giving up. He accepted his fate, he sat down and just watch the world crumble. He watched the rocks fall and the base tear apart. Till something in the sky caught his eye, it was like a scar. A wound that opened up, once it was full opened Sarge peered his head.

"The fuck?"

Meanwhile in the real world Vulcan and Rogers were holding UNSC troopers. "Hey hon why are we doing this, again?" asked Rogers.

"We're here to save Church."

"Hey guys we're about to pull out Church." Sarge said over the radio.

"Alright. Fall back V?"

"Fall back." Vulcan said nodding. The two threw grenades and found Sarge and Caboose in the other room.

"What the hell guys!" Church said angrily.

"Hey, we risked our ass off to save you." Vulcan said in an angry tone.

"I was happy, I found peace. Why!" As Church finished his sentence a woman came in in aqua blue armor,.

"Hey alpha. Been lookin for ya a long time. You're going to help me kill the Director."


	10. Chapter 10

"Hi I'm Dick Simmons from the popular webseries Red vs Blue." Simmons said dressed up like a cyborg alien.

"And I'm Rogers from the same show." Rogers said dressed up like a cowboy.

"We are to talk about each of our favorite movie genre. As you can tell it's SCI-FI."

"And mine is westen. So I will start off, westerns are like a look into the past. A world of adventure and gunslingers."

"SCI-fI is a look into the future and a much larger world of lore."

"Not to be rude and all but is SCI-FI outdated, I mean we fight aliens, use a hyper drive like system and even computer that can love and hate." Simmons gave an annoyed growl at Rogers comment.

"Didn't the western genre kind of die out, like what 1980's and didn't even have a come back longer than a month."

"How dare thee. SCI-FI movies are played out and overdone." Simmons gasped at her comment.

"Hey guys." said Grif. Rogers turned around and saw Grif dressed like a cyborg cowboy. "They're going do a redo of Firefly and they are having a marathon of original series, director commentary then repeat but with the movie." Rogers and Simmons looked at each other.

"Truce?" Rogers asked.

"Truce." The three then walked towards Blue base to watch the marathon. **We can hope, we can hope**

 **Ps I'm only doing one PSA for season nine**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Five(Season 10)**

Vulcan and Rogers had just released Church when Carolina came in. Vulcan was uneasy with Carolina around, she ushered Rogers away."God, something's off about that women." Vulcan said with shivers.

"It's alright, hey at least she isn't hitting or belittling us unlike most freelancers we met." Rogers said.

"You can find the silver lining can't ya." Rogers just shrugged.

"Hey guys we're leaving!" Sarge yelled.

"Coming!" Rogers and Vulcan followed Sarge outside of the group fought off more UNSC security guards. Vulcan was pushed on the ground and a guard security was aimed a shotgun at her. Rogers tackled him and punched him a few times before getting back on his feet.

"Thanks babe." Vulcan said cracking her back.

"Hey I think I see our ride." Rogers said point at on coming warthogs. "Incoming." Rogers fired at an oncoming mongoose. He knocked out the driver and pushed off the passenger. Once the coast was clear we rushed towards Grif and gave him a fist bump. "Good to see my man, and I think I see Simmons." Rogers pointed to a slow moving jeep with classical music.

"Hey Tucker how was it with general buzzkill." Rogers and Grif mocked.

"He stopped at the train track."

"That's the law!" Simmons said in a offend voice.

"Aren't we breaking the law right now?"

"Idiots, we need to go." Carolina yelled. She began to talk in real military jargon and everyone didn't understand a word. She sighed and spoke again. "Were reatrating."

"Got it." Rogers and Vulcan hoped on the Mongoose. The convoy then began to drive away from the base. After a good half hour of driving Church came over to Rogers and projected himself.

"So what's happened while I've been gone?"

"Nothing much, me and V are dating but you might of caught on that already."

"Tell him when Carolina showed up."

"I was getting to that, alright we were doing our normal thing, Vulcan making dinner and the Red's fighting the Blue's then she showed up." Rogers said pointing at Carlina. "Wash said she was cool and she talked about a plan to save you and kill the Director."

"I was all for it. Tell you one thing she doesn't like any of us, she's also angry so becareful what you say."

"Noted." Church quickly then left.

"So Rogers do you think you could ask the guys to stop I need to stretch." Rogers nodded and activated his radio.

"Hey Sarge con we pull over, I need to drink "

"Got it, Grif pull over I think we all need a brake." The lead warthog stopped and everyone else did so too. Rogers and Vulcan got off the Mongoose, Vulcan stretch her legs, while Rogers grab a snack. "Hey Tucker you got the cooler throw me a drink."

"What do you want?"

"A soda and V wants a orange juice."

"Alright." Tucker threw them the drinks.

"Thanks." As Rogers was about to hand the drink to Vulcan, she pulled him to the side for some makeout time. After five minutes the two came back.

"Woo!" Grif yelled.

"Shut up asshole." Rogers said throwing some dirt in his visser. "Alright V, i'm going to check with the guys."

"I'll go see Church." Rogers went towards the lead warthog.

"Hey."

"Sup."

"So, what's your guys take on the mission?" Rogers said jumping onto the hood.

"I don't know." Grif said. "What I rather be askin is why we always get wrapped up in the blues adventure."

"You know what they say, keep your friends close and your enemies in range of your primary weapon."

"Wait? Who's the enemy here. The blues or the freelancers."

"Exactly." Rogers shook his head. This is going to be a long trip.

"I just want to say something." Simmons said raising his hand. "I realize we agreed to help Wash and Carolina, but how do we know they'll help us. You really think they'll stick their neck out for us?"

"Wash might and we got Vulcan." Rogers said confidently.

"You might have a point about Wash but Vulcan will only save you if she can."

"Nah, even if I wasn't endanger she still help you. Well most of you." he said looking at Sarge. "I'd worry about Carolina. She doesn't give a rats ass about us." Rogers said shrugging his shoulder.

"I don't know, what happens if she's done with her mission and she decides to get rid of us."

"Why would she do that?" Grif asked.

"I don't know to cover her tracks. You've seem spy movies."

"Oh those are in the movies, and if she does do that at least Vulcan and Caboose would survive." Rogers said.

"Why those two?" Grif asked.

"Well first off Caboose is too dumb to understand all of these, at best he might give a detail or two, while Vulcan might use the pregnancy card."

"Wait she's pregnant?!" Red team in unison said.

"Hell no. She'd just say that to save her skin. She told me once she got out of jury duty by saying that or the time she broke a guy's arm and said it was the 'pregnancy' hormones." The guys stared at Rogers for a minute.

"Dude your girls a psycho." Grif said.

"Still what abou-"

"Get a hold of yourself Simmons, I don't want here about double cross or freelancer conspiracy." Sarge then wander off.

"Come on Rogers."

"Sorry orders are orders." Rogers then wander off.

Meanwhile with Vulcan she finished talking to Caboose and Tucker. She looked at the ration and drinks, she slapped Grif who was trying to steal a bag of chips. "Hands off tubby. We won't have enough food if you keep taking it." Vulcan said angrily

"Alright sorry." Vulcan looked over her shoulder and spoke again.

"I'll keep quiet if you split with me." Grif looked over his shoulder and nodded his head. The two thieves found a secluded spot on the beach and began eating

"So what cooking supplies do you have?" Grif said with a mouth full of chips.

"A pot and pan, plus some pancake mix." As if a dog hearing the sound of a door bell he seem more interested. "I had to smuggle it. Carolina said only the bare necessities." she said imitating Carolina's voice. Vulcan finished the chips and then left back to the vehicles. In the distance she could see Caboose talking to Carolina. She didn't think anything of until she shot a barrel which caused a huge explosion. When she saw Carolina walking towards her, she and Grif jumped behind the warthog and waited for her to pass by. She notice all of Red team had the same plan, once she was gone everyone jumped up from behind the jeep.

"Hey, I'm starting to think Simmons was right on this one."Rogers said with his voice trembling with fear.

"I hate being right sometimes." The group quickly dispersed and reformed at a spot far away with anything that can blow up. Vulcan kept a lookout for the she beast and spoke.

"The coast is clear."

"Alright I called you all here about Carolina. She is dangerous and quick to anger and might kill us to 'tie up loose ends'. So I submit we take the warthog and leave when she resting. If she sleeps that is."

"You can count me in." Vulcan said whimpering with fear. "I don't think she cares about anything, and is willin to kill us if it just means to be a foot closer to the Director guy." Everyone talked amongst themselves and it seemed like they were all in a agreement.

"So it's settled we leave first thing we she closed her eyes." Out of nowhere the group heard approaching footsteps, they held their breath but had a sigh of relief once they saw it was just Wash.

"Hey did Carolina come this way? We got to get going soon." The group exchange looks and spoke.

"We've been meaning to talk to you about that." Grif said in an uneasy voice.

"What is it?" Vulcan step forward and spoke.

"This whole finding the Director thing."

"The mission."

"Right right. We as a group thought that we've held up our end of the bargain."

"Find Church and all." Simmons added.

"We thought you and Carolina should just handle the rest or just Carolina she seems to prefer to work alone."

"So you guys are abandoning the mission."

"No, we're just accepting a different mission with different risk ." Sarge said. Vulcan and Roger nodded their heads in agreement.

"Less risk."

"Less is a different percentage." Rogers added

"We'd just secure Red base, for your glorious return." Sarge said.

"How is going home risky!?"

"Who knows what new or old villain had taken residence at red base or blue." Roger said.

"I guess you are right. You are wanted criminals of the UNSC." Fuck he's right, thought Vulcan. All different thought's raced through Vulcan's head of the different things that can happen. From prison to a public hanging.

"On second thought you can use the extra help!" Sarge yelled.

"So what do we do know Sarge?" Rogers asked.

"Help them along and hope Wash was bluffing." After a minute Carolina came back.

"Alright let's load up." Carolina yelled. Rogers and Vulcan got on to their mongoose. They followed Carolina for a few hours, they soon found themselves in the desert.

"I think I know where we're heading." Rogers with annoyance in his voice. After another hour they found themselves at the compound Rogers had found Vulcan hiding in. They went down and parked the Mongoose. He turned off the ATV and regrouped around the Elephant. He walked around the rig trying to find anything. Like a radio or a book but it was no anvil, meanwhile Vulcan was taking a nap in the jeep. She was suddenly woken up by Sarge's yelling.

"Attention, Blue team. We would like to propose a temporary truce, so we may discuss our current you accept?"

"*Yawn* Does he think we're still fighting?" Vulcan asked.

"I'm not sure." Tucker said.

"Alright! We accept." Church yelled back. All of red team came over.

"What's up?"

"It's our friend/enemy/ companion."

"We're starting to get concerned about Carolina." said Simmons.

"Make that two of us." Vulcan said sarcastically.

"I can't believe she left us in the desert to die." Rogers complained.

"I know right. I'm over heating." Grif said.

"Don't your helmet have cooling fans?" Simmons asked.

"Well I sweated so much I short circuit em."

"God dude we have been in the desert that long."

"I broke these back at basic." The next thing Rogers saw was a flash of light.

"Alright shut up! We have to concentrate, for some of you that is extremely hard." The whole group turned their heads at Caboose.

"Hi."

"Like the reds brought up we have a little Carolina problem."

"Little? Ha. A little problem is when your car won't start, little is when you forget your phone. There's no way to measure how big a gun wielding, trigger happy psycho is."Vulcan said in a snarky tone of voice.

"She's like some sort of half women, half shark and the shark half has been given cybernetic powers and the one is 1/4 jaguar."

"My point exactly."

"Okay I get it we're all terrified of the scary freelancer lady."

"Terrified doesn't ev-" Vulcan yelled.

"Vulcan! we get it. But this is why we need to stick together. It's us against them."

"Are you talking about Wash?" Vulcan asked. "He hasn't steered us astray so far."

"What I'm saying is we can't trust him as long Carolina's around." Church said.

"Alright, what's the plan?" Vulcan asked.

"We need to figure out what Carolina is up to." Vulcan thought for a sec. If Church is an AI why can't he just infect her like Omega did to them so long ago. "Alright we need something suttle, without her knowing."

"You could just active her objective hub. You can generally use it to store notes or use it as a reminder for something." Vulcan suggested.

"I would try that but it wouldn't be that simple. By the time I finish downloading or reviewing the files. She might already know what I'm up too." Damn, Vulcan thought, so much for that.

"I got it!" Simmons yelled."Caboose you moved Church from the Epsilon unit to that alien thing, right."

"Left."

"How would you like to but him in something a little different." Simmons said looking at Carolina's mongoose.

"I fucking hate you guys." While Caboose and Simmons tried to put Church in a mongoose, Rogers took the power cell out of his just in case. After he was done he went to Carolina's mongoose, and saw the guys talking to Church.

"It can't be that bad." Vulcan said."It's gotta be a lot better then Tuckers helmet."

"I don't know *honk*." Church gave Vulcan a glare.

"Sorry." she said with a smirk.

"Incoming." Rogers yelled as he saw Carolina approaching. Rogers and Vulcan scattered.

"Do you think this will work?"

"Probably." Rogers shrugged. Like clockwork Carolina hopped on Roger's mongoose but it didn't start. She angrily yelled and kicked it, then went to onto her's and drove off.

"Alright let's head inside. It's almost going to be dark out." Rogers returned the power cell and helped Vulcan gather up her cooking supplies.

"So what's for dinner." Grif asked.

"I got some MRE steak, but I can turn it into a stew."

"I'll help." Caboose said.

"NO!" everyone yelled. "Ok." Caboose then ran off. Vulcan hummed happily as she set up her equipment. She always enjoyed to cook, even when she was young. She began to boil the water and put in what little ingredients she had.

Meanwhile Rogers was talking to Wash. "I gotta to ask you Wash, why do you even trust Carolina. She seems to barely trust you." Wash step back as if he was trying to find a reason any reason.

"She's an old friend."

"Hey so was the Meta and-Sorry I shouldn't have brought him up."

"It's alright, you're right Maine was a old friend. I guess to put it better she save my ass a couple of time and I feel like I owe her that."

"Dinner ready!" Washington left, Rogers felt sorry for what he said, he went over to his girlfriend and got a bowl of slop. Grif was eating it happy and so was everyone else. They seem to forget their troubles. Rogers ushered Vulcan near Simmons who was eating.

"So how is it?" Vulcan asked.

"I like it. I wished you were on our side rather than your boyfriend. At least we would get a good soldier and a good cook."

"Thanks."

"Asshole." Rogers took a couple of bites of his meal before talking again."So why did you guys sign up."

"I wanted to be in charge." Simmons said.

"Family tradition." Vulcan looked down in shame. "My family was a long line of soldiers but now, now I'm a joke. I was a guinea pig." Rogers could tell that she was holding back tears in her eye.

"Hey you are a real soldier, I mean you took on Tex, the Meta and not just a few days ago you took a military base full of trained UNSC troopers." Vulcan gave a Rogers a kiss.

"That's why I love you." For the next few hours Rogers and Vulcan got some rest. Vulcan got up from her rest and went to Tucker.

"What's up V?"

"Nothing much, hey can I ask you question?"

"Sure."

"Can I see your sword." Tucker took it out and looked at it, he handed it to her. She made a schoolgirl like squeal before she played with it.

"Hey that's not a toy."

"Shut up I'm a jedi. Swoosh, swoosh." She dropped it when she saw Rogers laughing his ass off.

"You are such a nerd." Tucker shook his head and picked up his sword. "But not as big a nerd as me. Luke I am your father." The two laughed until Washed came in.

"Let's go Carolina will be back in a few minutes." Roger nodded, he then quickly help pack up all the cooking equipment. When they got outside, Carolina was barking order.

"We're head home." Rogers got on to the mongoose, they led the convoy with Carolina. After a while the group was finally home.

"So this is Valhalla. Nice nice, I think I talk to Tucker." she said seeing Tucker's 'get over here' wave. She quickly went to the guys. When she got there Church just popped up.

"Hey, I can't talk too long, my connection to Carolina's memory unit isn't too good, so what's up?"

"Well not much, first time for me and Vulcan. Just taking all the seneriay ?"

"Yay well, the trees are nice, especially compared to the desolate desert and- wait are we here to talk about trees?"

"No!" Tucker boomed. "What are you doing with Carolina?"

"Calm down."

"You do not get to talk to him like that." Vulcan said butting in the conversation. "You were supposed to spy on her."

"Hey she's more complicated than we thought."

"Church because you want to get close to someone doesn't mean you have to end up inside them." Vulcan waited to her Tucker's famous 'bow chica bow wow' but was glad that he didn't,

Oh come on aren't you going to say it?"

"No I am pissed!"

"Alright, i'm still on your side."

Oh sure."

"Hey watch your fucking mouth. You're dating a Red."

"Oh now you bring Rogers into this." Vulcan let out a growl, Tucker stepped in before anything got bloody.

"You two calm down."

"Ok, I didn't find anything out. But if I do I need to stay close to her. See proxcimity is the to go." Church popped away.

"Is it possible to beat up a hologram." Vulcan said sighing.

Back with the Red's, Simmons was trying to get the next set of order from Carolina. She like Sarge just told the group to sit still and be quiet. "Now that's an order I can get behind, what's next you think she'll tell us to stop taking showers for a week." Rogers got up.

"Dude that's nasty." Rogers said disgusted.

"We've been sitting around for days." Sarge complained. "If I sit around any longer I'll kill something."

"We can retrieve Lopez." Rogers said.

"I guess we can go get get Lopez. He was shot here. Let's go get him back."

"I just said that." Sarge didn't hear Rogers as he left. Rogers shrugged it off and followed him.

Back with Vulcan she followed Caboose to the new base. "Wait where are you going?"

"Didn't you hear Caboose it's base-ier than the old one." she yelled. It took a sec but they're were in it. It was empty, it had two bedrooms. She didn't see anything special about it. She went top side there was this strange blue thing. She threw a rock, and the blue light sent it flying. She hoped on and it sent her he flying halfway across the canyon. "Wow that was awesome." She was about to go again but Wash stopped her.

"Hey um, were about to leave."

"What!? That's bullshit."

"Calm down." Vulcan had a menacing glare and Wash backed away. "I'm going to Blue base to inform the guys."

Meanwhile on the other side of the cannoy, Rogers followed Simmons to where Donut was shot. When he got there he saw a small farm and Lopez as a scarecrow.

"What in the hell." Rogers said to himself. When he looked closer he had a feeling who was behind this and on que Donut came out of the hut. "Well I'll be damned."

"Oh hey guys. I thought I heard voices." Donut walked up to the group. Rogers extend his arm to give him a pat on the back.

"I thought you were dead."

"I almost was, that jerk Wash shot me in the gut and my armor went into some kind of lock. It kept me alive for awhile till it unlocked. It was painful I'll tell you that."

"How did you survive? When your armor unlocked you should've bled out."

"Well shit." Rogers smiled. There was only one person that would have the medical training.

"Looked what the cat dragged in." Doc said in his usually cheery tone.

"Rogers is that Doc behind us?"

"Yes sir."

"Get my gun." Sarge looked down. "Never mind, Simmons begin operation point my gun at Doc."

"That was code for operation point my gun at Grif."

"Then operation point my gun at Grif."

"That's one how it sound sir."

"Drat." Sarge shook his head and walked off. Rogers went to Doc and shook his hand.

"Thanks for keeping Donut alive."

"Welcome, so how's everything been." Donut said looking for the latest gossip.

"Well we've been jumping from place to place, um I'm dating Vulcan." Donut jumped up in excitement.

"I knew you two would end up together." Donut said squealing like a schoolgirl.

"What about you?"

"Well we've been farming and baking. I really to switch recipes with Vulcan and my birthday was last week." Rogers nodded.

"Alright I got to check in the guys and then I'll bring over Vulcan." The two waved bye and Rogers then went to Red base.

Meanwhile Vulcan and Tucker were confronting Carolina about leaving. "Hey what's the deal, we're leaving already?"

"That right you got a problem with that?" Carolina said with poison in her voice. Vulcan clenched a fist but Church popped up before Vulcan could throw the first punch.

"Uh, Carolina let me handle this." Vulcan stuck out her tongue under her helmet, she then left with Tucker to secluded spot. Church popped up again and spoke.

"What do you guys want?"

"We just want to know what info you got on the enemy." Vulcan said in a calm reassuring voice.

"Yeah is she evil, crazy, crazy evil?"

"Don't forget about pretty." Caboose added.

"Yeah is she hot?"

"Guys I got more important things to worry about."

"What does that mean? You're supposed to spy on he 'us us against them' ring any bells." Vulcan exclaimed.

"You don't know anything about her. You have no idea what she's been through." Vulcan clenched her fist harder than ever before, they all be though a lot. What makes her special. "Just get in the fucking car alright." He popped away. Vulcan punch the rock and she saw that the rocked cracked. She went to the cars, and growled at Carolina.

Back with Rogers he stood with Simmons and Grif looking at the ocean. "Hey you ever wonder why we're here?" Grif asked.

"Are you going to spout that god stuff again and cosmic fuck ups again." Rogers sighed.

"No I mean why are we hunting this one guy."

"He's evil or some shit." Simmons said.

"A lot of people are evil, doesn't mean I go and hunt them down." Rogers shrugged.

"He did create the freelancer, the AI and the 's the reason why we're even in 'Red army' and don't for get the Meta."

"Don't get me started on that guy." Rogers shuttered. In sense it wasn't all bad, he met his girlfriend and had a couple of alright friends.

"He's a real dirt bag and if he had died a year ago. It doesn't mean anything, we'll still be in the same spot." Sarge added. "I'm just saying we've gone through hell and back, do you really want to run off, again.I don't see how any of it will make things better."

"You make a fine point, sir."

"Shut up Grif." Rogers left to the motor pool, where he found Vulcan smoking. He sat down, taking off his helmet and bummed a light.

"You alright?"

"No!" She said shouting. "I'm tired of running, I...I... I just want to stay." She said with tears.

"Hey, I want to show you something." Rogers got to his feet and helped Vulcan up. "You won't believe it. Lopez built a holo-room in the basement." Vulcan gave Rogers a confused look.

"A holo-room? So can I don't know build my own kitchen or kill Church?"

"Ya, espical the kill thing, c'mon." Vulcan gave a slight smirk before following her boyfreind. The two went down to the basement. Vulcan looked impressed, at what the reds had built. "Computer activated, field routine." suddenly a field of flower and trees appeared.

"Let me try, let me try. Alright um computer activate kitchen." The flower faded and a large kitchen appeared. Vulcan ran around and had a happy expression on her face. "Can I have control to you know mess around there something I need to see one more time." Rogers nodded, he pulled up a terminal and sent towards Vulcan. She played with it for a minute before the kitchen change. He looked and saw a portside window of Earth. "This is kitchen I grew up with when I was a kid." As Vulcan looked at the kitchen Church appeared.

"Hey put this shit away."

"No." Church sighed as the kitchen faded away.

"Now meet me in the center of the room asap."

"So V, what was the kitchen about."

"When I was five or six I lived on a ship with my mom and dad. That was the kitchen my mom taught me how to cook in. I'm just happy I got to see it one more time." Vulcan and Rogers themselves in the middle of the Holo-room with the rest of the Freelancers and Reds and Blues.

"We got big news." Vulcan knew that they found who they're looking for. It was just a matter of time.

"We found the Director." Church said returning back to his normal height.

"Wait you found out where the Director has been hiding?"

"He's holding up in one of his off site storage facilities." Church then brought up a couple of pictures of the place. It wasn't much, the exterior looked like an abandoned warehouse while inside was well kept and clean.

"We need to be ready for anything. So for right now we'll be going over the plan."

"What plan?" Tucker asked.

"The plan to take down the Director."

"Whoa, we agreed to help you find the Director and mission accomplished." Rogers said.

"The plans change." Carolina said angrily. "The plan is to go inside and neutralize all hostiles."

"And what's our plan?" Grif asked.

"That is your plan."

"You said we're the worst soldiers you met."

"Look I just need time to make it to the Director."

"So we're just cannon fodder for you." Vulcan said."Fuck that."

"Maybe I should stay and-"

"Leave personnel decisions to me Wash, I need you for lock picking and not with these-"

"Finish it. I dare you." Vulcan said reading her pistol and so did Carolina.

"Look will you guys stop complaining." Church said.

"We saved you from the military." Sarge said.

"We could have died, just by finding you."

"Boo hoo. Talk to me on your second or third life." Rogers was beyond angry, he risked his life for his friends and now he regretted even helping Church.

"Wow fuck off blue." Grif said walking away.

"Where do you think your going?" Grif stopped and answered Carolina's question.

"I'm going home."

"Wow we can always count on you to bail out." Vulcan and Rogers have had enough of it. They two began to walk away and in the distance they could hear Sarge, Simmons and Tucker resigning too.

"GET BACK HERE NOW! THAT'S AN ORDER." Carolina screamed.

"Guess what you bitch since you like to remind me and the rest of us we're not a real soldiers and technically I don't have to take order from you!"

"Well what about now" Carolina said raising her gun. Vulcan and Rogers drew their assault rifles at her. But they saw a fourth person enter, Wash. He pointed his pistol at Carolina, she lowered her rifle. "Wash what are you doing?"

"Protecting my friends."

"Your siding with them?"

"Wash I don't understand, we found the Director, we can finally make him is what we've always wanted." Vulcan stood in awe, she knew that Wash was Carolina's oldest friend. She understood that the Director had broken him before, but she was also grateful that he sided with them and not her.

"So that's it? You're just going to turn your back on us."

"Epsilon-"

"No, no you're right. I should of seen this one coming."

"Hey you don't have to be mean." Vulcan said.

"But you guys." Church said looking at them. "After all the shit you've put me through? I really thought you'd have my back."

"Us? What did we do?" Grif asked. As Church began to speak, he grew and had a slight red light coming from him.

"You shot me through the head, put a bomb in my gut, you sell my shit on Ebay goddamn Ebay oh and let's not forget my favorite, when you killed me with my own tank." By then he had grew to the side of a three story house and was red.

"Calm down, what's your problem?"

"Your my problem, you've always been my problem. Each and every one of you is just a problem that I have to deal with!" Church began to calm down but the damage was already and Rogers went topside and watch Carolina drive off.

"Good riddance.I nevered like them." Vulcan lied.

"Come on the guys are playing war games." Rogers pointed to Wash kicking Sarge from red base and taking all there stuff. For the next hour was fun, the group voted for Rogers to humilated himself while Vulcan cooked dinner with Donut.

"I don't know Donut, I think we should've helped Church he was our friend but it's like I'm tired of running away. I just want to settle down. What do you guys think?"

"It's hard to say. We've been through a lot of the years, but we all asked a lot from each other but maybe Church gave too much or maybe he asked too much. It's there for you to decide. Sound to me we been through a lot." Vulcan soon left and watched the guys play their game of steal from the reds and make them embarrass themselves. It was funny for a while but soon became repetitive. Till they pulled out the "Grif shot'. Vulcan went up to look at it, she didn't know that Grif took it with him. She touched it, but Grif slapped it from her hands.

"Come on, I'll make you a triple chocolate cake for say an hour with it."

"No! There is no way I'll give up the Grif shot even for an hour."

"Come on. What are you going to do with it."

"I was going to mount it up in the base." Grif said in a snotty voice.

"You've been hiding one of the most advanced pieces of tech know to man so you can hang it in your living room?" Wash said.

"Please it's just a glorified grenade launcher with a sword attached, but it would be badass in a man cave or some shit." Rogers shrugged.

"Ya that pretty much sums it up."

"That's dumb!"

"I thinks it's kind of cool." Doc said. "I mean when I met you guys, all you did was stand around and talk. And look at ch'ya, you can't walk five feet without getting wrapped up in a crazy adventure."

"What's your point?" Sarge asked.

"I don't know I just thought it was cool. I mean you guys have been through alot together. Don't you want something to remember the good times?"

"Good times? I was stranded in the desert?" Tucker said.

"Me too." Vulcan said.

"I learned my entire military career was a lie."

"I almost tore off my leg!" Rogers yelled.

"I got shot!" Vulcan couldn't help but look at Wash.

"Ok it wasn't perfect but look what you got out of it. Vulcan Rogers you two are happy together, Sarge you got to lead a real military operation, Tucker you got a sword, you got a new team and Simmons got his old team, and I finally keep a patient from dying."

"And I didn't die!"

"See, in the end it all worked out. Everyone got what they wanted."

"Not everyone." Vulcan turned her head to Caboose and realised that they should of help Church. They began to pull out their guns.

"You realize that if you go after them, there's no promise you'll come back." Vulcan gave a smirk.

"We owe him this much."

"After what Church and Carolina said, the way they treated you."

"We gave you a second chance." Simmons said.

"Hey if we stopped, every time Church yelled at us we'd still be in Blood Gulch." Rogers said

"You'll be out gunned, out well is stupid just think before you do something reckless."

"Wash stupid and reckless is how we've always done things." said Sarge. "There's one thing you freelancers always forget. The fact we manage to kick your ass time after time. You may have your plans and fancy tech and better training. But what do you have if you don't have team you can count on, without you friends at your side, so stop bellyaching and tell us. Are you going to play it safe or do you want to get a little reckless."

"Took the word right out of my mouth." Rogers said. Wash stood there for a sec.

"You can count me in."

"Me too." Donut said.

"That's the spirit." Vulcan said.

"They got a huge head start, how will that make up?"

"Teleporter anyone." Vulcan joked. Just outta nowhere UNSC hornets dropped down.

"Freeze this is an ambush, by the order of the UNSC." Three other hornets dropped down.

"Shit." The hornets landed and the guys came out reading the group their rights. Rogers and Vulcan shrugged and suckered punch one of the UNSC cops, they rushed over to the landed hornet and began to take off. Sarge came by.

"Rogers I command you to let me fly."

"Damit." Rogers said as Sarge took driver. "Ha I still would've let you fly."

"This is awesome!" Vulcan yelled. "You better pray we don't die because I got a surprise for you when we get back Dan."

"Bow chicka bo-."

"Shut up Tucker." Rogers and Vulcan said in unison. The flight took about half an hour before they went to the base. When they got there they saw Carolina mongoose.

"So run and gun? Or we shooting jackasses in a barrel?" Vulcan asked.

"Run and gun." Wash said. They went over to the controls, Rogers punched it and the base doors open. They went inside and found a cache of weapons, Rogers took some spike grenades, while Vulcan took some a bunch of extra ammo. While Grif took a bunch of ammo for his Grif shot, when everyone was done getting prepped, they found a long hallway and in the distance Vulcan could hear fighting. Vulcan pulled out her assault rifle and walked down the halls with her squad, when they got there they saw Carolina an army of Texs about to kill her, but Donut threw three plasma grenades giving Carolina a window to regroup with the Reds and Blues.

"Oh I thought this wasn't your fight." Church said.

"And let you have all the fun." Vulcan laughed.

"Guys I'm an asshole and I admit and will glady take all smartass comments but right now we got an army of crazy freelancer robots that are ready to rip us to shreds."

"Cheesy forgiveness speech later." Tucker said.

"Sounds good." Sarge said. The group pulled out their guns and ready for the onslaught. Vulcan could see Church pop over to Caboose. Caboose then ran into the army of Texs as if a bull.

"My name is Michael J. Caboose and I hate taxes!" Caboose boomed in his angry voice.

"It's Texas you idiot." Grif yelled.

"That too." Rogers smirk as he looked over to his Girlfriend.

"You ready, love?"

"Yeah." She said running and gunning. Vulcan tackled a Tex bot and shot it in the face. "Take that you bitch". She went up to another one that was about to break Carolina's neck. Vulcan hacked it in the visser with her tomahawk. "Thats for almost taking my eye." Carolina gave a silent nodded before she went back to killing more Tex.

Meanwhile Rogers stabbed a spike grenade on a Tex bot and kicked hit back towards a large group. "Duck!" Vulcan yelled as she threw her tomahawk into the head a Tex that was to strangle Rogers. The group began to be enclosed by the Texs. Rogers kept firing his gun but found it running dangerously low. The next thing he knew was that they began to shut down.

"Hell yeah!" Rogers yelled.

"So what's left?" Vulcan asked.

"There's still the Director."

"No! What comes next Carolina and I have to do alone." Rogers silently nodded. They watched as the two entered the next room, after a minute they came out.

"Let's go." Carolina said with sorrow in her voice. The group went topside and left the next few days were hectic. They met up with the UNSC but a man gave them a pardon after Wash and Carolina explained how they stopped the Director. They were going back to Earth, but ended up somewhere new. Vulan opened her eyes and walked outside in a home they made from the crashed ship. She had a huge smile as she looked at the valley.

"We're home." she said with a smile.


	12. Chapter 12

**The Kinds of couples**

"Hi I'm Dan Rogers from Red vs Blue."

"And I'm Emma Vulcan from the same franchise. And we are here to talk to you about the kinds of couples from the lovely dovy to 'that couple'."

"Me and Emma will demonstrate. First up is the worst kind. The lovely dovy." The camera pans to Vulcan, Rogers, Carolina and Washington at a table.

"Thank you guys for coming to brunch with us." Carolina said in a monotone.

"No thank you for inviting me and my sugar plum. I wuv you so much." Rogers said to Vulcan.

"No I wuv you, twimes two." Wash and Carolina looked uncomfortable as the two kept talking in a baby voices. The camera then comes back to regular Vulcan and Rogers.

"Now that was the worst kind of couple, next are the just as bad but at least don't showit in public. The quickies." The camera pans to Cabooses and Juniors play. Sister and Tucker were sitting in the audience with Simmons sitting in between them.

"Hey baby I need to go to the bathroom, Wink wink."

"Oh so do I, Wink wink. Let us go together." The two then leave snickering and Simmons looking at them.

"What the fuc-" The camera then pans back to Vulcan.

"Now the last but best kind of couple, 'That couple'. Rogers was on the couch playing video games with Grif when Vulcan coming.

"Hey babe." Rogers said acting like he was dodging strikes from a invisible man.

"Hey I'm going to the store and grab some elbow grease and headlight fluid, want anything?"

"Root beer and real beer." She nodded and then left. Vulcan then took a bow, now that is the best kind and here's a bonus couple. The clingy.

"I fucking hate all of you." Church said.

"Just do it." Church sighed as he walked up to Caboose and spoke.

"I am going to the store for headlight fluid."

"Are you cheating on me." Caboose said.

"Oh for fucks sake, I quit."

"Answer the question." Caboose yelled. The camera pans back to Vulcan and Rogers.

"Thanks for watching and please try to be 'That Couple." Vulcan smiled.


	13. Chapter 13

**Camping**

"Hi am Sarge from the webseries Red vs Blue."

"And I'm Emma from same series. We are here to talk about one of the great door."

"Camping, the greatest thing to happen since meat."

"Now you may know the outside world as scary and full of girls which won't talk to you, but there is so much more. SO me and Sarge will go on a *Whispering* court ordered *talking normal* camping trip. Sarge will tell you thing things you'll need."

"First a lighter, rations, a tent and a shotgun to hunt and kill the greatest threat to man. Bigfoot."

"Now I will teleport us into the middle of the forest." Vulcan snapped her fingers and Sarge and Vulcan were in the middle of the forest. "I will put up the tent while Sarge starts the fire."

 **Five hours later**

"And done." Vulcan said looking at a half assed tent. "Now will we cook." Vulcan rummaged through her bags and found pots and pans. She took out her rations and suddenly ape popped out. "Ah" she yelled as Sarge shot the ape. "Dude that was Grif in a bigfoot costume."

"Oh god that hurts."

"Cut the camera, cut the camera." she yelled as people came out from behind the camera. The camera then went black. In loving memory of Grif.

Just kidding.


End file.
